It was difficult to decide who to pair next for an Oscar celebrity fashion showdown out of the 'Jennifer Aniston-Bradley Cooper-Jennifer Lopez-Ben Affleck-Gwyneth Paltrow-Brad Pitt-Jennifer Aniston-Brad Pitt-Angelina Jolie'  celebrity shag circle. Golden girls Aniston and Paltrow came up trumps for a number of reasons. Brad's exes have more in common than they'd (Gwyneth) would like to admit. Both Jen and Gwyneth got the express elevator to the top floor via deep seeded family connections in the entertainment business. They love to tan, not eat and bare way more skin than is appropriate for women circa 40. [caption id="attachment_1119" align="aligncenter" width="610" caption="'That TV girl' versus 'That GOOP girl'."][/caption] Gwyneth's super-bitchy comment back-in-the-day when Jen still had her hooks in Brad left no doubt about her jealousy, referring to Jen as 'that tv girl'. The shoe is on the other foot now. Jennifer is top of the pile in the gossip stakes and has an actual movie, Wanderlust (albeit a bad one, allegedly), to promote at Oscar time.  Gwyneth is now 'that website girl' with a boring husband and her tongue permanently lodged up Stella McCartney's behind. So what will they wear? Whether it's the event itself or post-game parties Jen and Gwyn will have their A game attention seeking on - we know what that means: over-tanned sinewy yoga limbs, over-exposed backs and tiny, shiny dresses. Jennifer has had somewhat of a style revolution of recent: below knee length dresses, prints, shoulder straps and she's even worn an actual shoe (as opposed to her usual barely-there strappy sandal).  I'd like to say I have high hopes for her to wear an elegant long gown, even with a split and low cut, and fingers crossed for some colour: [caption id="attachment_1116" align="aligncenter" width="610" caption="Fingers crossed Jen will wear Costello Tagliapietra Fall 2012 or a white or deep blue number from Elie Saab Spring 2012."][/caption] Let's face it, Jen's not really a gown-girl. Sadly she will most likely roll out the metallic or black, short, shiny wagon. It's her go-to and she's got fierce competition (see celebrity shag circle above, and any picture of Angelina Jolie). If she goes the cocktail route, I hope she keeps it edgy by covering her arms or keeping the length at the knee: [caption id="attachment_1117" align="aligncenter" width="610" caption="Aniston will probably go cocktail: Givenchy Spring 2012, Reem Acra Spring 2012 or Badgely Mischka Fall 2012."][/caption] Gwyneth will no doubt keep it long but will make up for covering the legs and keeping 'the good china' well under wraps with cut-outs. She is just so boring. I can rustle up a few looks but I have nothing else to say about her and her picture-perfect life at the top of the uninteresting pile. [caption id="attachment_1118" align="aligncenter" width="610" caption="Gwyneth will probably wear Stella McCartney that looks like one of these: J Mendel Fall 2012, Reem Acra Fall 2012 or J Mendel Fall 2012."][/caption] Coming up: Best actress nominees, another Hollywood power player EX-off and, don't you worry, we're going to get to Angelina Jolie.

About Aisling O'Connor

Aisling is an Irish fashion, pop culture and lifestyle writer whose work can be seen in Harpers Bazaar, The Atlantic, The Daily Mail and The Independent's Irish edition and many others. With a unique sartorial perspective, she strives to translate high fashion and street style into accessible looks - and savage often ridiculous celebrity stylings as a matter of public service.
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  1. Guest says:

    Aniston is definitely not even attending the show – she told press this week she’s watching from home in her sweats. And I’m not sure if Paltrow is due to attend either. Regardless, the two are actually good friends these days…how the tides change!

  2. BOHOMOTH says:

    Gwyneth is hosting an OSCAR weekend party tonight and Jen is likely to be there. Still, if they’re friends then good for them! :-)

  3. BOHOMOTH says:

    Jen was out at some pre-Oscar party at Soho House last night, so yeah, she’s not invited to the show, but is def a part of the festivities and in the public eye


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