65TH CANNES FILM FESTIVAL: K-STEW SERVES UP VAMPY RED INSIDE-BOOB FOR R-PATZ AT ‘COSMOPOLIS’

I really thought after literally hundreds of pictures of celebrities in gowns, I was de-senstitized to couture and talking about yet another red carpet event would be like pulling teeth. I was wrong. The 'Cosmopolis' premiere brought quite a few interesting looks from Kristen Stewart,Doutzen Kroes and a couple of 'bag of bones' supermodels, among others. The movie's teen draw, Pattinson did his usual 'woke up in a dumpster 5 minutes ago and someone handed me a tux'. His girlfriend and partner in crime against grace and hygiene, Kristen Stewart surprised me in a red Reem Acra gown. Someone got slapped up the back of the ear by the studio. Kristen looked as good as I've seen her in this lace-panelled plunging gown. Seen as she seems to have let a professional apply her make-up and saved us another outing of her trademark bedhead, I'm going to let the slutty inside-boob pass. I even like the red-on-red with the lipstick. The back of this gown is the real treat. Not only is that scooped racer-back detail in the lace completely modern, it's a delight to have reason to look at an image of her that doesn't include her slapped arse of a face. Natasha Poly did me a favour and participated in an exercise I like to call, 'Roberto Cavalli has serious taste issues - I told you so'. Anja Rubik looked like she was attending a Halloween par-tay in a spider's web Pucci gown. Super hiddy sexy-skelelton-witch. I need to not look at this person. Her body makes me sad. Julianna Margulies looked hot, and unusually fresh in a Reed Krakoff strapless red gown. Julianna tends toward mature structured gowns on the red carpet - and that combined with her stern looks generally makes for a 'stick up the ass' look. So I am delighted to see her look so relaxed and I love these mixed reds - especially given that this dress beats down Natasha and Kristen IMO. Doutzen Kroes hit it in a gorgeous green Elie Saab Fall 2012 gown. Sadly the dress didn't photograph as well as it did on the runway where it was a deeper, emerald green. Also in Elie Saab was allegedly 'the world's most beautiful woman', Bollywood star Aishwarya Rai. I love this midnight blue sparkling sky but I wish she hadn't gone there with the matching eyeshadow. Fair play to her for rising above all that criticism about not slimming down after her pregnancy. Speaking of which, Beyonce's return to the stage is coming up!

About Aisling O'Connor

Aisling is an Irish fashion, pop culture and lifestyle writer whose work can be seen in Harpers Bazaar, The Atlantic, The Daily Mail and The Independent's Irish edition and many others. With a unique sartorial perspective, she strives to translate high fashion and street style into accessible looks - and savage often ridiculous celebrity stylings as a matter of public service.
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11 Responses to 65TH CANNES FILM FESTIVAL: K-STEW SERVES UP VAMPY RED INSIDE-BOOB FOR R-PATZ AT ‘COSMOPOLIS’

  1. BOHOMOTH says:

    Whenever we read the sentence in future: have a look at KSTEW’s tit – we’ll no longer assume it’s an article about R-Patz.

  2. Miko says:

    What boobs? If you have her and that word in the same sentence you might as well just mean him. While I liked the dress I would have liked it better on someone less vile. No one wants to see what she doesn’t have. Put it away. Put the ears away while you’re at it too and the attitude. Actually just do the world a favor and go away altogether.

  3. Kate says:

    Nice dress, shame about the face.

  4. Sassy says:

    what kate said

  5. interested party says:

    Oh my god Bohomoth,
    you’re hilarious!

  6. Caro says:

    She was booed out on the red carpet by the photographers and in the lobby of the hotel told one of them that she hates him. This bitch!

  7. sylly says:

    It was a lovely dress and I thought it was very flattering. KStewe may not be a nice person, but she has an interesting face. I like that she hasn’t carved and filled and botoxed it into the starlet du jour look (runs away quickly to hide).

    • Caro says:

      Her face is offensive. The chin, the dead eyes, the huge ears and theeth, always slouching, chicken legs, gross hygiene…

  8. Amelie says:

    Stewart looked beautiful at Cannes and stunning in this red gown. She’s entitled to hate paparazzi and mourn her loss of freedom. She is a young actress receiving critical acclaim; she has been extremely warm and genuine towards her fans–especially young girls. Stewart works long, hard hours and deserves respect, not petty, ridiculous comments slung her way.

  9. Anonymous says:

  10. CommonSense says:

    Until she cheated on RPattz that is…

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