The former queen of re-invention threw her bag of tricks at the stage at the opening of her world tour last night in Tel Aviv. As BOHOMOTH reported, Madonna didn't bring much of anything new to the table, rather a mini-retrospective of her hit stage looks. There were her latest encarnations mixed with previous tour looks:

Bardot fly-girl.

From the Superbowl, some confusion between high-school band leader and cheerleader when she donned the old pom-poms (which is odd considering these are traditionally polar 'cool for school' roles).

A nod to her Superbowl centurion look and 'Drowned World Tour', while she rocks out with her c*ck out channelling ACDC Angus Young's duckwalk.

Madonna ligs off classic Americana with a high school marching band and iconic '50s feminist and Wonder Woman backdrop. Sorry Madge, Prada has already pilfered those coffers this year - and we are O-V-E-R it. She werks a Gaultier tailored shirt, tie and pinstripe pants with elbow length gloves and a classic JPG cage corset, 'Blonde Ambition Tour' style. I could take more of this, in fairness. I adored the 'Vogue'/ 'Express Yourself' sexy tailored looks of the '90s. The shirt, tie, gloves and cage come off to reveal a 'Girlie Tour' fetish bra. Does she know we can see her high waisted Spanx Power Panties?

Probably not - underneath it all she's just a dominatrix bag-lady who sprinkles lithium on her ice-cream. Who's feeding your cats while you're away, dear? But Madge wants you to think she's a supersonic bionic superhero who will never age. Sorry Madonna, you've had a fabulous run but unless you've got a Kate Moss grade deal with the devil, you need to retire the skirt lifting.

About Aisling O'Connor

Aisling is an Irish fashion, pop culture and lifestyle writer whose work can be seen in Harpers Bazaar, The Atlantic, The Daily Mail and The Independent's Irish edition and many others. With a unique sartorial perspective, she strives to translate high fashion and street style into accessible looks - and savage often ridiculous celebrity stylings as a matter of public service.
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  1. BOHOMOTH says:

    Hahaha brilliant. *Sprinkles lithium on ice cream*

  2. Kate says:

    Coo-ee! She’s no more than 5 years younger than my mother and I’d be Horrified (note the capital H) if Mumsie got up and flashed her fanny at people on a stage. And she’s in pretty good shape. Surely, once you hit your 50s, that’s it? Time to hang up the cheerleading outfits and maintain a little dignity?

  3. Mildred Fierce says:

    Hey if trotting this stuff out nets her hundreds of millions then she’s filling market demand. The vast majority who bought tickets don’t expect or even want innovation from her. It’s like the Stones. Poeple pay to see Mike shake his arse in a pair of leggings and to hear Jumpin’ Jack Flash. People like to relive. Nostalgia’s comforting in troubled times.

    • Shiny says:

      You are true. People like safe, even if safe is a woman in her fifties playing dress-up.

      I do like some of these looks but I have come to expect better from her creatively. The JPG was to die for and I don’t mind the Bardot, once she leaves the KARL gloves and tube sock sleeves off.

    • BOHOMOTH says:

      Yeah, but, she’s the Queen of reinvention. I do love Madge don’t get me wrong but if she actually did do a greatest hits tour, complete with costumes and moves from back in the day that would rock. Like that piano solo in Vogue makes the hairs on my neck (not that I’m particularly hirsute) stand on end. WOULD love to see that and a load of her best songs live. But this is being touted as a new tour. And it’s not really.

      • Jameson says:

        I agree Bohomoth. I was going to comment on this when I got home at 4:21am but I was still drunk and my head was swirling from the unexpected shag that came after the drinks.

        ANYWAY, it wouldn’t have been a pretty comment.
        Basically this tour isn’t exciting to me, I kind of had a feeling it would go this way with the looks and stage. I had the opportunity to get prime tickets from an insider a day ahead of sales for the show here in Vancouver but my gut said to turn it down.

        meh, I don’t know, I still love her but the cheerleading stuff? From the videos I’ve seen already, it does look better than Sticky & Sweet, but not by much and I still like the stage set up of the Confessions Tour better. I still might see the show somewhere, but it wouldn’t upset me if I missed this tour.

        omg, I just realized this is super long comment. I think I’m still drunk. Damn those boys & the booze!

  4. Mildred Fierce says:

    Mike? Mick even

  5. Mojojojo says:

    Oh, I so wanted tickets for this tour. I don’t care how good or bad her tours are (mostly awesome!), I just want to see ONE Madonna concert before I die.

    From the clips I’ve seen, it’s looks a high energy albeit a bit recycled tour where she, as usual, brings her A game.
    Few artists put SO much work and dedication into a show just to please her fans (and to prove a point which I understand).
    She’s only 53 and I don’t mind her outfits on stage (the black ensemble is so Confessions tour *squeals*), she isn’t hurting anybody with it and it’s hot on stage so I don’t expect her to wear jeans and a thick coat. The biggest part of her shows are the visual and that includes weird clothing anyway. I don’t know why she wants to keep performing but if that is her passion, then I say, let her. Why push somebody in a wheelchair and give her knitting equipment when it’s clear she doesn’t want to? More power to her to work pure for enjoyment and fulfillment! Few have that luxury.

    She still has a few years to go under her Live Nation contract and I know I will see her perform, even if it’s the last thing I do!

    • Jameson says:

      I don’t know where you live Mojojojo but I’d say you still have a good chance of seeing Madonna. She seems to keep adding dates to this tour and if she can come up to the one dick wonder town that is Vancouver (where I live), and for the second time now, I’d say the odds are in your favour.

      • Mojojojo says:

        Thanks for the tip but it’s more of an issue that starts with “in this economy…”. Sad but true =S.

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