This will make your day, nay your entire week. Karl K*nterfeld stole a cat from his ex-boyfriend Baptiste Giabiconi possibly to punish him for pretending to be straight and faux-dating Katy Perry for a while. And, he has named the nine-month-old Siamese Kat "Choupette" (which means 'sweetie'), taught her to use an iPad and hired not one but two maids to look after her (one for night, one for day) as well as letting her eat her meals on the table when he has his twice-daily plate of steamed fish and vegetables.

"She is a famous beauty," Lagerfeld said. "Baptiste gave her to me for Christmas to watch for two weeks when he was away, but then I refused to give her back. I thought she was too cute. She is like a kept woman. She has a strong personality. She has lunch and dinner with me on the table, with her own food." Hopefully he has taught her to eat with a little cat sized knife and fork and to chew her food and spit it out, never swallow like her Master. He probably forces her to drink only diet coke, which is all he'll touch himself as he compulsively brushes her force bleached white hair all day along with his own (which is one of Karl's weird OCD habits). But in case you were worrying that the Chanel head honcho allows the cat to eat off his plate, fret no more: "She doesn't touch my food," he says. "She doesn't want to eat on the floor. She sleeps under a pillow and she even knows how to use an iPad. She has two personal maids, for both night and day. She is beyond spoiled." If that wasn't side-splittingly hilarious enough, Karl's considering releasing the "diary" that he and Choupette's maids keep each day detailing her movements, behaviour and diet. "In the nine months, we already have almost 600 pages…I think it could be funny to make a little book of Choupette's diary." He's right about that, I want to read how many craps the Kat takes a day and whether it ever p-sses on it's owner's pillow in the coffin he sleeps in at night. And, if like me you were wondering if Karl dresses Choupette up in any of Baptiste's old cut off denim shorts or his high heels "No, I don't like animals in human clothes," he told WWD. "I think that's very circus-like."

About Jen Paul (BOHOMOTH)

Jenny Paul is a veteran showbiz reporter who is based in Cannes in the south of France. She has worked on major breaking news stories over the past decade and more for entertainment news outlets worldwide including: Us Weekly (USA), People magazine (USA), E! News (USA) ABC News (USA), The New York Post (USA), The Sun (UK), The Mirror (UK), The Daily Mail, (UK), The Mail on Sunday (UK) and many others too numerous to mention. She firmly believes that love, truth, hugs, dogs and the power of laughter make the world a better place.
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  1. Shiny says:

    I wonder if the cat is looking for an intern or a ghost-blogger.

  2. Mildred Fierce says:

    He stole Bapou’s cat? Hmm. Trouble in paradise. That boy better learn to bend over and take his “erotic” enemas like a good paid slave oughta.

  3. Shana says:

    I think we were given a glimpse. Karl is about to pop his clogs. Be kind.

    • Nat says:

      I think you are right. Definitely showing signs of advanced dementia along with his OCD. He’d never have a pussy on his pillows otherwise.

  4. Shana says:

    I was sharing this with a BOHO friend – the message is briiliance. Lost my way and

    Thanks Robin

  5. Freak on a Leash says:

    HA!!! What the hell does this piss ant know about being nice to pilfered pussy??? Is this supposed to reassure us that he doesn’t kick puppies off his rose strewn path? I loathe him. STILL.

    • Shana says:

      I do get attracted to your turn of phrase FreakyL.

      Only because the new best TV show – VEEP’s (julia louis-dreyfuss) best line the other night was “come on kitttens, time to get drowned” how brilliant is she???

  6. Sassy says:

    he looks like he sleeps in a coffin……

  7. Jameson says:

    And my legs are far beyond better than Bap’s!

  8. Anonymous says:

    Fantastic post. You really crossed the line

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