MADONNA AND THE QUEST FOR ETERNAL YOUTH- AT WHAT POINT DOES SHE HOLD HER HANDS UP AND YELL: ‘I’M FIFTY F*CKING THREE AND PROUD OF IT, GODDAMNIT!’

Grand gesture: Madonna doesn't hold back when it comes to showering her lover with expensive treats

 

Madonna’s MDNA world tour has rolled into Holland and over the weekend she went to the cinema in Amsterdam with paid-lovah Brahim Zaibat, manager Guy Oseary and erm, magician David Blaine. – That would be enough to have me running to the nearest legal-high selling coffee shop in search of a Miley Cyrus sized bong to suck on to get me through the prospect of having to make conversation with the oddest man in showbiz.

Is it my imagination or is 53-year-old Madge starting to look her age? I’m not saying this like it’s a bad thing because it isn’t and I abhor the youth is good, age and experience is bad society we all live in choc full of pneumatic, plastic surgery enhanced, look-alike blondes with fake hair and fake everything else.

 

In the future, people will look back on this moment in time and laugh themselves silly at pictures of women with cartoonish blown-up lips and chests the way we might at women of the Elizabethan era with their heavy white wigs, white faces, yellow teeth and red lips, removed ribs and tiny waists cinched in by corsets they could barely breathe whilst wearing. The human race may now have internet, email, International travel and fast cars but the way some women torture themselves to look a certain way is still several million light-years behind.

 

 

I’m not saying she should let herself go but I don’t understand why Madonna continues to chase the elusive elixir of youth at any cost in a bid to freeze time at when she was around twenty-eight years old.

Personally, I like getting older. I feel calmer and more confident in my own skin with every year that comes around and better equipped to deal with the cr@p life throws my way, whilst being able to appreciate the joy in the little things. I’m growing tomato and basil out on my terrace and every evening when I’m wolfing back a freshly picked salad produced by my own whatever the opposite of green fingers is I’m as happy as a vitamined-up pig in organic sh-te.

 

Swept away: Perhaps she forced Brahim to endure her famously dreadful romantic comedy

And, Ms. Ciccone does not seem happy, does she? She’s increasingly become an isolated, lonely figure with her once tight-knit circle of friends deserting her in droves and, her main companion these days is 24-year-old Brahim Zaibat- a French dancer who grew up in a rough part of Marseille in Southern France with a strict Muslim mother who is six years younger than his current girlfriend.

What do they even talk about?

Madge continues to spend her days punishing her body with excruciatingly-long gym work outs and dance routines, regular plastic surgery procedures and a workaholic ethic that sees her sleeping with her blackberry under her pillow and still travelling the globe touring at an age where she’s fully earned the right to sit on a beach, glug cocktails and watch the sunset. But she’s so terrified of wrinkles that she wouldn’t even allow herself that simple pleasure. It just seems to me to be a bit of a sad, joyless existence – she’s accomplished so much professionally, yet personally is she really fulfilled? I hope so.

About Jen Paul (BOHOMOTH)

Jenny Paul is a veteran showbiz reporter who is based in Cannes in the south of France. She has worked on major breaking news stories over the past decade and more for entertainment news outlets worldwide including: Us Weekly (USA), People magazine (USA), E! News (USA) ABC News (USA), The New York Post (USA), The Sun (UK), The Mirror (UK), The Daily Mail, (UK), The Mail on Sunday (UK) and many others too numerous to mention. She firmly believes that love, truth, hugs, dogs and the power of laughter make the world a better place.
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21 Responses to MADONNA AND THE QUEST FOR ETERNAL YOUTH- AT WHAT POINT DOES SHE HOLD HER HANDS UP AND YELL: ‘I’M FIFTY F*CKING THREE AND PROUD OF IT, GODDAMNIT!’

  1. jojo says:

    she has the worst taste in men and for someone who is clinging to her youth she dresses like my grandmother.

  2. Mildred Fierce says:

    She’s dressing like an upscale version of Courtney Love in the mid 1990′s. She can’t *do* relationship with equal. It has to be paid sex slave / walker or nuthin’.

  3. BOHOMOTH says:

    I wish she’d just chill the fork out and enjoy life. My armchair psychology says that as a kid when her mum died she felt out of control and now she’s trying to control time itself by reversing the ageing process which is like pushing jelly uphill and nigh on impossible. That or she just likes a bit of hot, young hide the sausage and thinks she’s more likely to get it with a wrinkle free face.

    • Mildred Fierce says:

      Oh she fears loss of control alright and that may well come from the feelings of abandonment when her mother died that she was too young to cope with. She’s had therapy but with her cash and status you can buy the therapy that tells you what you want to hear not what you need to hear. She should be more relaxed at this age than she is.

      • LuxLisbon says:

        I wonder if part of the attraction of Guy Richie was that he didn’t appear to be her doormat. He seemed to treat her normally and in the old fashioned woman/man gender roles, calling her ‘the missus’ etc. Then she later got sick of the fact she couldn’t dominate him and it started to fall apart.

        I don’t know, I’m just speculating.

        • Mildred Fierce says:

          I don’t know either but I bet that is exactly what is was! The woman shows a lack of self awareness. She married two very domineering ( worse, Penn beat her ) men – why? I think it’s a challenge, she thinks she can ”break ” them. Then finds out she can’t, and starts shagging vanilla ice / twenty year olds

          • LuxLisbon says:

            Yes, I think that’s it. Also, maybe it’s fun for a while to play the coy, surrendered wife. Will the real Madge please stand up.

  4. LuxLisbon says:

    Yes, I agree with all of this. And then you look at women like Helen Mirren or Charlotte Rampling who are just going along with the ageing process normally, taking care of themselves but nothing completely out there, they just look so much more beautiful and feminine than Madonna. You can see their lives and experiences on their faces

  5. jojo says:

    I’ve seen Mirren in the street and she looks way younger in person, it’s crazy because the lines just don’t take away from her beauty.

    • Mildred Fierce says:

      They add to it. Most men I know sew wud Mirren.

    • Shiny says:

      I met Helen Mirren in a Karen Millen store in Dublin about 5 years ago and she is stunning (I didn’t know it was her – I advised her on the boob fit of a dress we were both looking at and then realised who I was talking to). She is stunning, ageing gracefully and fabulous. Great rack too.

  6. Mal Content says:

    Mirren of course has had a fair amount of work done herself but I do like her because she has the opinions and interests of an experienced woman. Madonna on chat shows sounds like she’d 12

  7. Jameson says:

    Totally agree with you Bohomoth on feeling more confident as each year goes by, feel stronger in knowing who I am and really do appreciate the little things in life.

    I don’t understand the attraction with Madonna’s paid beau, I bet her kids even smirk knowing he won’t be around long. I personally have had a crush on that bodyguard of her’s for the longest time, he’d know what he is doing. ;)
    Someone just get me his name and I’ll take it from there.

    • BOHOMOTH says:

      *High fives you, then sets about googling Madge’s bodyguard name*. I know someone who shagged a celeb’s bodyguard in the past. Disappointingly they spend all day being tough and then in the sack just want you to molly cuddle, hug and tell them you love them. But maybe Madge’s would be different.

    • Shiny says:

      Me also. I wouldn’t go back to being 26 and a size 8 for any money. Being young is tough.

  8. Dee says:

    Whether or not you believe me, I went to high school with her, at Rochester Adams High School..even then she had a “taste” for younger boys she used for sex, but would use OLDER men to get what she wanted……..and that is ALL I am going to say!!

  9. Jameson says:

    ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Dishy!

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