MADONNA checked in to the Hotel Du Cap on the Cap d'Antibes yesterday afternoon with a massive entourage - which includes daughter Lourdes and son Rocco and, of course, French "lover" Brahim Zaibat. They're staying in the Eden Roc complex which has views out over the sea and is where the pool is, but the only problem is the paps perch like seagulls on the rocks there just to the right of the hotel. I used to go for BBQs there in the evenings and it was great having the same views for free that gazzillionaires had paid on average €10,000 a night for. I was down at the hotel the other weekend and even in the pool bar right now with the sea breeze coming in off the med, it's pushing forty degrees (that's in the hundreds) so as hilarious as she looks in this sun-proof get up, there's a very real chance of lily-white Madge burning.
I can't believe she even wore trainers in the sea though, must have been a thoroughly uncomfortable experience. I get the impression that for all her four hour a day workouts Madonna isn't a very confident swimmer and would be more comfortable had she snatched that random kid's water wings.
Madonna & Brahim
Bless her clinging on to that young man like an old biddy crossing the road.
But here's the best bit. This old French guy who clearly has no idea who this crazy American lady is wearing all her clothes in the sea with her son! - Sacre bleu! 
She's performing in Nice tonight and I'm going to be going along.  
Madonna & Lourdes
Read my full report here tomorrow.
Madonna & Brahim Zaibat

About Jen Paul (BOHOMOTH)

Jenny Paul is a veteran showbiz reporter who is based in Cannes in the south of France. She has worked on major breaking news stories over the past decade and more for entertainment news outlets worldwide including: Us Weekly (USA), People magazine (USA), E! News (USA) ABC News (USA), The New York Post (USA), The Sun (UK), The Mirror (UK), The Daily Mail, (UK), The Mail on Sunday (UK) and many others too numerous to mention. She firmly believes that love, truth, hugs, dogs and the power of laughter make the world a better place.
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  1. jr says:

    She looks ridiculous. Sunblock please? she can swim. she used to be a lifeguard and swim before she got all hard bodied. God why do i know this crap?
    ps – she and J.Lo have the most appalling taste in men.

  2. jojo says:

    She wore that crazy ensemble last year also, now I don’t blame her for not wanting sun damage but she looks uncomfortable with the high neck.

  3. Jr says:

    Me either but you can wear sun block and a tee. Not trainers. Would feel awful

  4. Portia says:

    Good Lord.

  5. Jameson says:

    Tonight is going to be crazy fun!

  6. Naomi says:

    She loos funny but wait… did she wear shoes in the water? I have no idea how to comment on this:P

  7. twiggy twiggy says:

    I want to see her in a life saver shaped like a sea horse swanning about.

  8. sylly says:

    I cannot see spending a full 1/3 of the hours of my life working out, as Madonna seems to have done, if I cannot at least wear a damned bathing suit at age 54 for all my work. That’s actually really depressing. Imagine all the incredible food this woman has passed on for years to keep her body looking fit. She should have just been eating that French bread with real butter; either way, she’s still swimming in her running outfit and sneakers, and paying for an 18 year old lover. What was the point of all that exercise and healthy eating?

    Plus, she looks ridiculous.

  9. Freak on a Leash says:

    Whatthefuck? She needs to lighten up, chill the fuck out, take that clothes hanger out of her ass and get naked in the sea. Live a little Granny M. Open your arms to the warmth of the sun. Feel the saltwater lap at your skin, let it invade your nooks and crannies. What an uptight old bitch.

  10. Jameson says:

    The trainers in the sea is weird, but in the Cote d’Azur they sell tons of thin, rubber type shoes that you slip on and swim with so that when your feet do touch the bottom of the sea, you have less of a chance of perhaps getting your feet hurt on the rocks..depending on the area you are swimming in, and where Madonna was’s a bit rocky in spots.
    I know I keep meaning to buy myself a pair. Madonna, being a dancer and on tour, perhaps a precautionary thing.

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