MADONNA’S TYING HERSELF UP IN CHAINS BUT SON ROCCO’S THE ONE WISHING HE COULD DO A HOUDINI
See what I meant earlier this year when I was saying
Madge's facelift's clearly on display during certain parts of her MDNA tour (which she's STILL doing!).
Well, here she is trying to be sexy but reminding legions of women of a certain age why there's lots to be said for eschewing the surgeon's knife OR not hanging at certain angles should you have heavily acquainted yourself with it several times.
The 54-year-old was performing in New York on Monday night and ensuring that son Rocco Richie, 12, never looks at a half-naked woman in the future without bursting into floods on tears and legging it out of the bedroom as he suffers terrifying flashbacks to this tour.
Look at him. Bless him. Should he ever marry a woman he's going to be insisting she wears a full body onesies with poppers and flaps in the crucial places in bed before he can even stomach touching her after standing in the wings of this tour.
Not only will he doubtless not even be able to grow a beard until well until his mid-thirties after walking through the clouds of HRT spray emanating from his mother's dressing room backstage, he'll be having nightmares about the time he walked past and the door was open and he saw her doing this, while baby Brahim Zaibat sat in the corner crying and asking for his maman.
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