IF IN DOUBT, GET YOUR GIANT BREASTS OUT! JESSICA SIMPSON SELLS HER CLOTHING LINE & DEFLECTS QUESTIONS ABOUT HER DAD BEING GAY WITH HER BOOBS

 
Bye bye, baby weight: Jessica Simpson showed off her slim figure as she met fans at Dillard's department store in Tampa, Florida, on Saturday
Thanksgiving came early for shoppers at Dillard's department store in Tampa, Florida who received a visit from a rotund festive turkey in the form of a real-life walkin', talkin' and wavin' (all at the same time!) Jessica Simpson over the weekend. Smiling through sadness: The actress' family has recently been going through tough times with her parents announcing they are getting a divorce after 34 years of marriage and her father Joe Simpson plead no contest to a drink driving charge
Jumbo Jess isn't just raking in millions for pretending to have lost weight on the Weight Watchers diet and acting like she's the only person to have ever given birth, her action plan seemingly being to just tell people she's lost weight while not looking all that different, hoping she hypnotises us all into thinking she's thinner. Blonde beauties: Jessica and Ashlee Simpson met fans on Saturday at Dillard's department store in Tampa, FL The 32-year-old reality star-turned singer-turned fashion designer has also been busy pushing her Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife Beth-sized tits at customers when they ask her if it's true her dad's gay now to distract them while punting her clothing and shoe line to people with no fashion sense whatsoever in America and beyond.
Curves ahoy: She may be skinnier but the 32-year-old designer still has her famous curves And, depressingly, despite the fact that she doesn't even bother to brush her teeth every day: "I don’t brush them everyday. I’ll use a shirt or something ... I know it's gross, but I always have fresh breath" she once told Ellen Degeneres, her clothing designs have been snapped up by shoppers desperate to look like Jessica/ Christina Aguilera in their droves and she's now worth over $100 million. Best foot forward: A much thinner Jessica signs a pair of her boots from her self-named shoe line So want to have a laugh at some of her designs? My eyes are still hurting from scanning Dillard's website and attempting to take in the collection. But in a nutshell, some poor designer has had to forget everything they learned while studying fashion design at University and imagine they are Jessica and then come up with the sort of thing she'd wear for a date preceding sexy time and the big O, as she calls it, with Eric Johnson. If you like sequins and cheap-looking dresses with one-shoulder then you're in luck.   Jessica Simpson one-shoulder sequin dress $148 Another Jessica Simpson one-shoulder sequin dress $148 Jessica Simpson one-shoulder dress without sequins $118 Then, after designing lots more one shoulder dresses with and without sequins the designer collapsed in floods of tears on her sketchbook and tattered dreams of one day working for a couture house in Paris, did several shots of tequila, thought: 'F-ck it' and came up with this. Jessica Simpson lace boatneck dress $82.80  

About Jen Paul (BOHOMOTH)

Jenny Paul is a veteran showbiz reporter who is based in Cannes in the south of France. She has worked on major breaking news stories over the past decade and more for entertainment news outlets worldwide including: Us Weekly (USA), People magazine (USA), E! News (USA) ABC News (USA), The New York Post (USA), The Sun (UK), The Mirror (UK), The Daily Mail, (UK), The Mail on Sunday (UK) and many others too numerous to mention. She firmly believes that love, truth, hugs, dogs and the power of laughter make the world a better place.
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6 Responses to IF IN DOUBT, GET YOUR GIANT BREASTS OUT! JESSICA SIMPSON SELLS HER CLOTHING LINE & DEFLECTS QUESTIONS ABOUT HER DAD BEING GAY WITH HER BOOBS

  1. Shiny says:

    Beyond hiddy.

  2. jojo says:

    even calling them designs is being too kind..

  3. twiggy twiggy says:

    so, her dad’s sex tape is so bad that she has to distract us with her boobs? okay then. we should look forward to him on all fours while some twink muscle boy half his age ride him with a saddle and another is in so deep his fist is coming out of joe’s mouth

  4. Pingback: StarDust: Salma Hayek Had to Bone Antonio Banderas to Break Into the Biz + More

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  6. Pingback: StarDust: Salma Hayek Had to Bone Antonio Banderas to Break Into the Biz + More - 100.7 KOOL FM

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