BUMP-WATCH: NOW KATE’S UP THE DUFF, IS KIM KARDASHIAN GOING TO KOPY THE DUCHESS WITH A MATCHING PREGNANCY?

Now that we have a direct confirmed hit by Prince William on Kate Middleton , where are we going to channel all the bump-watch gossip energy? Yes, we have seven or so months of  royal-womb-watch to look forward to but nothing stokes the fires like suspected  celebrity pregnancies.

Next on the block has to be Kim Kardashian. Her obsession with fame and being deemed klassy (mutually exclusive for reality TV/p*rn stars) has seen her gifted Kardashian Kollection gifts and offers to take tea with the Duchess of Cambridge returned to sender. So Kim’s next mission will klearly be to steal the Kambridge thunder by whipping the media up into a frenzy about a KimYe baby.

Bump-watch proves difficult with the KarTrashy One. She’s already the bumpiest celebrity on the block. Kimmy’s lady lumps are distracting, with an arse so disproportionate it’s difficult to turn one’s attention to anything else. But she’s been working it in Miami in the past few days with a few looks that showcase how easily Kim kould fakely hide a pregnancy.

A top made entirely of fringe.

An oversized goth-punk-chic t-shirt.

A tighter than tight dress that works the diversionary T&A.

If her unreality TV antics are anything to go by, she’s freezing her eggs, in kase she gets frozen out by yet another man. Maybe she kould ask her NOT GAY BFF Jonathon Cheban to sire a child of PR if Kanye loses his will to whore himself out.

No prizes for guessing Kim’s top baby names: Kate for a girl and Kambridge for a boy.

About Aisling O'Connor

Aisling is an Irish fashion, pop culture and lifestyle writer whose work can be seen in Harpers Bazaar, The Atlantic, The Daily Mail and The Independent's Irish edition and many others. With a unique sartorial perspective, she strives to translate high fashion and street style into accessible looks - and savage often ridiculous celebrity stylings as a matter of public service.
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4 Responses to BUMP-WATCH: NOW KATE’S UP THE DUFF, IS KIM KARDASHIAN GOING TO KOPY THE DUCHESS WITH A MATCHING PREGNANCY?

  1. Anonymous says:

    Don’t let this woman reproduce..

  2. Anonymous says:

    Please , Don’t let this woman reproduce..

  3. Sugartits says:

    Surely Beyonce must be fuming about Kate Middletons baby more than Kim K is?
    Poor old Blu Ivy is going to have to try even harder than her desperate, maternally conceited mother now, just to remain relevant.

    Kanye’s going to have to get up on stage and snatch that kid out of Kates arms.

  4. BOHOMOTH says:

    No, no, no, no, no. Kartrash may not reproduce. A law must be passed. Someone call up Shelly-O and get Obama on the case!

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