PRE-LIFE CRISIS: MILEY CYRUS SAYING ADIEU TO DISNEY ONE CROTCH GRAB AT A TIME

When I was young I thought that getting older was all about fighting wrinkles, weight gain, and your body generally not liking you anymore. Though most of that is true, I was yet to discover in my mid-thirties the joy that is judging young people.

Miley Cyrus rocked it out at VH1 Divas 2012 in California last night in a look and performance that succeeded in erasing any memory of Hannah Montana.

That’ll do it – a crotch grab in a cropped studded leather jacket and low-rise skinny leather pants.

As a real grown-up I can only laugh and point and think back to when I thought I was one of the big girls, and was the sexiest thing going.

It’s a fairly fierce look. Gaga would wear this to buy cigarettes at the corner, Madonna could tour in it. Miley looks a little ridiculous however. Leather and studs require a little more life experience than 20 years.

Britney and Xtina both went through this phase. The former ended up as a near-basket case and the latter skankified herself for life.

Oh, and Miley wore some stupid looking Norma Kamali ’SEE I’m not wearing underwear. TALK ABOUT ME’ dress.

I’ll talk about you, girl. You need to grow some length back into the top of your hair, and never wear a midi hemline again.

When I think about it, I wouldn’t enjoy laughing at 20-somethings if I hadn’t made such a spanner of myself in the same decade of my life.

So go on, Miley. You’ll be rolling on the floor at the next generation in about 15 years, shuddering slightly at the thought of millions watching your pre-life crisis.

About Aisling O'Connor

Aisling is an Irish fashion, pop culture and lifestyle writer whose work can be seen in Harpers Bazaar, The Atlantic, The Daily Mail and The Independent's Irish edition and many others. With a unique sartorial perspective, she strives to translate high fashion and street style into accessible looks - and savage often ridiculous celebrity stylings as a matter of public service.
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6 Responses to PRE-LIFE CRISIS: MILEY CYRUS SAYING ADIEU TO DISNEY ONE CROTCH GRAB AT A TIME

  1. twiggy twiggy says:

    Who at VH1 thought on any level that she was an “Diva”? Please. Verka Serdyuchka is a bigger diva than this poppet.

  2. paramount says:

    “joy in judging young people”. that is very funny and very true!!

  3. Sassy says:

    UGH this chick…not only does she look ridiculous but she DARED to butcher a Billy Idol song……i’ve had enough !!

  4. Pingback: StarDust: Hilary Duff Likes Eggs and Sex for Breakfast + More

  5. BOHOMOTH says:

    I don’t know. At that age, I thought I was a bit of a webel, but I never stuck me finger in me fanny in public, like.

  6. Pingback: StarDust: Hilary Duff Likes Eggs and Sex for Breakfast + More - 100.7 KOOL FM

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