Mother of Divine God, what was Christina Aguilera drinking at a party for her 32nd birthday on Tuesday night in LA? I need to get a few bottles for the next time my kid leaves the house for a sleepover.
These past months we've been so busy focusing on Britney's and Lindsay's mental health issues, we've all but blanked the madness that is Xtina.
A slashed Mickey Mouse T-shirt, fishnets, thigh high boots, a floor length sequined cardigan and a standalone bejeweled Peter Pan collar - all topped off with a caking of cosmetics and a Santa hat. She knows cameras exist, right?
Though it's not yet known whether she showed up to the event looking like the trash generation's Gloria Swanson in Sunset Blvd, one could speculate that the T-shirt was a gift swapped drunkenly for whatever painted-on frock she was wearing on arrival.
If the past 13 years of bad make-up and giggling didn't successfully erase the memory of a Musketeer, the sight of a distressed Mickey Mouse tee soon to be covered in false tan of a should do it.