I knew it. 

It was bullfarking shizzite that Suri Cruise was going to spend Christmas watching $cientology leader David Miscavige pulling Tom Cruise’s strings like a particularly wooden, brainwashed puppet out in Los Angeles.

Instead, the six-year-old (pictured above on the 23rd in NYC) spent the festive season with her mother Katie Holmes in Toledo, Ohio, with the biological, non-mentalist side of the family.

Us Weekly reports:

“Suri went to spend Christmas with Katie’s family back home,” one insider says. “There was never a doubt that Katie would have Suri for Christmas morning.” Adds the insider of the NYC-based tot: “Katie thinks getting Suri out of the city is healthy for her — seeing how life is outside of their world there.”

But then the story gets weird. Us says that on the 26th, Suri was shipped off to Telluride, Colorado to join Tom Thumb, Bella and Connor Cruise while Katie went back to work on her not critically-acclaimed play “Dead Accounts” in New York.

Little Tom’s reps are obviously too smashed on egg nog to ring up People mag and tell them some cheesy made-up crap about what the Cruises did in Telluride because instead the magazine reports he’s single and not boffing some chick as reported by The New York Post. Well duh.

‘Fret not though, I’m sure that come January (which is Bohomoth’s official ‘Fanuary’ for the ladies to grow out their bikini sideburns along the lines of men growing moustaches in Movember) Tom will be busy growing a very own beard of his own.

About Jen Paul (BOHOMOTH)

Jenny Paul is a veteran showbiz reporter who is based in Cannes in the south of France. She has worked on major breaking news stories over the past decade and more for entertainment news outlets worldwide including: Us Weekly (USA), People magazine (USA), E! News (USA) ABC News (USA), The New York Post (USA), The Sun (UK), The Mirror (UK), The Daily Mail, (UK), The Mail on Sunday (UK) and many others too numerous to mention. She firmly believes that love, truth, hugs, dogs and the power of laughter make the world a better place.
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  1. CF98 says:

    The funny thing is People mentioned that Tom would be spending the holidays with all of his children in California not Colorado…

  2. Pingback: Shakira Had Her Baby, Miley Cyrus May Be Married and Other Linkage | I Need My Fix

  3. interested party says:

    Yes Boho, you HAVE to investigate this for us!!
    I mean would he really do as the church expects and have Suri out of his life because she is classed as a S.P or living with one??
    Or, is she not his????
    Or, has he been denied access??

    The gossip that surrounds this story is the most interesting by far, imo.
    lotsaluv, Happy New Year and all that jazz.

    • BOHOMOTH says:

      Yeah. I’m just finishing up wrapping up my house in tin foil so the $cis can’t locate me and THEN I want to get to the bottom of this. I reckon it’s a bit of a mix of all of the above, it’s all so very odd…..

      Happy New Year to you too! xxxxxx

  4. Sassy says:

    ok heres what we need to do…..we need a hair from Suri and one from Tom…..DNA report anyone?

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