I knew it.
It was bullfarking shizzite that Suri Cruise was going to spend Christmas watching $cientology leader David Miscavige pulling Tom Cruise’s strings like a particularly wooden, brainwashed puppet out in Los Angeles.
Instead, the six-year-old (pictured above on the 23rd in NYC) spent the festive season with her mother Katie Holmes in Toledo, Ohio, with the biological, non-mentalist side of the family.
Us Weekly reports:
“Suri went to spend Christmas with Katie’s family back home,” one insider says. “There was never a doubt that Katie would have Suri for Christmas morning.” Adds the insider of the NYC-based tot: “Katie thinks getting Suri out of the city is healthy for her — seeing how life is outside of their world there.”
But then the story gets weird. Us says that on the 26th, Suri was shipped off to Telluride, Colorado to join Tom Thumb, Bella and Connor Cruise while Katie went back to work on her not critically-acclaimed play “Dead Accounts” in New York.
Little Tom’s reps are obviously too smashed on egg nog to ring up People mag and tell them some cheesy made-up crap about what the Cruises did in Telluride because instead the magazine reports he’s single and not boffing some chick as reported by The New York Post. Well duh.
‘Fret not though, I’m sure that come January (which is Bohomoth’s official ‘Fanuary’ for the ladies to grow out their bikini sideburns along the lines of men growing moustaches in Movember) Tom will be busy growing a very own beard of his own.