You know if you want to get an idea of what someone’s like in bed you just have to watch them dance? It’s a question of natural rhythm coupled with the ability to let oneself go and be in the moment without worrying if your bum looks big with that penis in it.
Yeah, so step forward none other than drunk on her one glass of champagne she allows herself on New Year’s Eve Gwyneth Paltrow…
The self-proclaimed lifestyle guru showed us her best mom dancing in a bid to look cool in front of the superstar rapper routine and came off as awkwardly frigid and propelled by a giant stick up her arse as you’d expect.
Get an enema and then let Chris shag you silly- oh wait, yeah it’s Chris, so… politely for a few moments before he weeps gently on your shoulder and apologises for sullying you before you try to impress Jay-Z next time Gwinnie.
I love how Jay purposely has to stop looking and turns the other way so the song’s not interrupted by loud, uncontrollable guffawing and pointing the minute she starts bopping.
You know the cool kids at school you felt all geeky, posh and awkward around so you’d dial down your accent a bit around them to something more regional and pepper your conversation with swear words in a bid to fit in- giggling inappropriately loudly every time they say something vaguely funny?
That’s so Chris and Gwyneth around Beyoncé and Jay-Z.
Set your faces to laugh hard before clicking play - I know I needed a good chuckle after the hideously long day I’ve had so thanks for that Goopster.