COLDFISH: GWYNETH PALTROW IS SEXY AND COOL AND STREET AS SHE TEACHES JAY-Z AND BEYONCE HOW TO DANCE

You know if you want to get an idea of what someone’s like in bed you just have to watch them dance? It’s a question of natural rhythm coupled with the ability to let oneself go and be in the moment without worrying if your bum looks big with that penis in it.

Yeah, so step forward none other than drunk on her one glass of champagne she allows herself on New Year’s Eve Gwyneth Paltrow…

The self-proclaimed lifestyle guru showed us her best mom dancing in a bid to look cool in front of the superstar rapper routine and came off as awkwardly frigid and propelled by a giant stick up her arse as you’d expect.

Get an enema and then let Chris shag you silly- oh wait, yeah it’s Chris, so… politely for a few moments before he weeps gently on your shoulder and apologises for sullying you before you try to impress Jay-Z next time Gwinnie.

I love how Jay purposely has to stop looking and turns the other way so the song’s not interrupted by loud, uncontrollable guffawing and pointing the minute she starts bopping.

You know the cool kids at school you felt all geeky, posh and awkward around so you’d dial down your accent a bit around them to something more regional and pepper your conversation with swear words in a bid to fit in- giggling inappropriately loudly every time they say something vaguely funny?

That’s so Chris and Gwyneth around Beyoncé and Jay-Z.

Set your faces to laugh hard before clicking play - I know I needed a good chuckle after the hideously long day I’ve had so thanks for that Goopster.

About Jen Paul (BOHOMOTH)

Jenny Paul is a veteran showbiz reporter who is based in Cannes in the south of France. She has worked on major breaking news stories over the past decade and more for entertainment news outlets worldwide including: Us Weekly (USA), People magazine (USA), E! News (USA) ABC News (USA), The New York Post (USA), The Sun (UK), The Mirror (UK), The Daily Mail, (UK), The Mail on Sunday (UK) and many others too numerous to mention. She firmly believes that love, truth, hugs, dogs and the power of laughter make the world a better place.
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4 Responses to COLDFISH: GWYNETH PALTROW IS SEXY AND COOL AND STREET AS SHE TEACHES JAY-Z AND BEYONCE HOW TO DANCE

  1. BB says:

    And what about Chris Martin???

  2. jojo says:

    Lord that “music” is crap…Goopie is lit, she must have crawled out of there…

  3. Pingback: JENNIFER LAWRENCE Thinks Acting Is Stupid And Other Hollywood Celebrity Gossip | Latest Hollywood Celebrity Gossip | Entertainment News - Anything Hollywood

  4. twiggy twiggy says:

    I didn’t know I was watching that rerun of Seinfeld when Elaine Benes was “dancing”. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQu_NLRvULM

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