Stripping off: Beyoncé shows off her perfect figure in the behind the scenes video in leopard print pants

As I said the other day, 2013 is the year of the Beyoncé and as well as the Pepsi deal, the Super Bowl half-time performance, a new album and a Lady Gaga collab, she’s just been named as one of the star performers at next month’s Brit awards AND she’s also bagged top spot as GQ’s Miss Millennium.

Shirt open... mic in hand: Beyoncé shows how to rock the karaoke look

And, to celebrate, they called on tampon tea aficionado and fashion photographer Terry Richardson to snap a set of photographs of Beowulf at her Beowulfy best.

Yummy mummy: The singer poses up in variety of outfits, all accesorised with chunky jewellery

The photographs are all very well and good but Bey’s LOLgasmic admission that when she’s ‘scared’ she listens to Make Love To Me, by Rick James, before actually ‘making love’ to hung-like-a-tractor-exhaust-pipe hubby Jay-Z is the best thing about it.

I’ll pause while you clean your teeth after barfing into your own mouth.

Inspiration: In the interview Beyoncé said she has conquered many fears since becoming a global star at a young age

She said: ‘If I’m scared, be scared, allow it, release it, move on. I think I need to go listen to ‘Make Love to Me’ and make love to my husband.”

Sultry: Beyoncé shows off her skills infront of the camera

Is this if he demands his birthdays and Christmas only an*l or something or are we supposed to believe she’s scared about something else and having a bounce on the five cans of Lilt laid end-to-end somehow cures it?

Talking of drinks, let’s have a nose in her fridge.

A look inside Beyoncé's fridge reveals the star is more than healthy with juices and fruit

That is a fridge that belongs to somebody who’s never bothered to learn to cook. She needs to ask wannabe best friend Gwyneth Paltrow to pop around and give her some lessons.

Flour power: The singer turns all crazy in the kitchen

But why should she trouble herself with mere mortals’ hobbies like looking up a recipe on the internet and following it?

Rocking those specs: Mother Beyoncé manages to look cool, even in huge glasses just lounging on the sofa

She’s too busy being preoccupied with her own power which comes from writing a few songs for Destiny’s Child when she was younger: ’I now know that, yes, I am powerful. I’m more powerful than my mind can even digest and understand’ she says without a hint of irony.

Hmmm. I know who told her this- a sycophantic Gwyneth, who hammered on her third glass of Pinot Noir over dinner one night, hoped she might persuade Bey to take part in her next Goop.com newsletter via the power of a good old-fashioned arse kissing.

In the bedroom... Beyoncé takes a rugby ball: In the behind the scenes footage fans get a glimpse of the star's boudoir

The video of behind-the-scenes footage is below. I’m hoping that the white creamy substance all over perv photog Richardson as he shoots Bey in her undies is flour and water.

About Jen Paul (BOHOMOTH)

Jenny Paul is a veteran showbiz reporter who is based in Cannes in the south of France. She has worked on major breaking news stories over the past decade and more for entertainment news outlets worldwide including: Us Weekly (USA), People magazine (USA), E! News (USA) ABC News (USA), The New York Post (USA), The Sun (UK), The Mirror (UK), The Daily Mail, (UK), The Mail on Sunday (UK) and many others too numerous to mention. She firmly believes that love, truth, hugs, dogs and the power of laughter make the world a better place.
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  1. twiggy twiggy says:

    No, no, no. THIS is the babymaker: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm_cFzVAoo8

  2. jojo says:

    She means when he isn’t doing one of his other proteges…..he is a busy man, and is only faithful when they are together…and they are apart very often.

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  4. Sugartits says:

    Narcissistic bellend.

  5. interested party says:

    Oh Beyonce put it away FFS!

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