I love it when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie imagine in interviews what parenting six children might be like if they didn’t employ five nannies.

After Brad once pretending he spends all day getting wee’d on (by the kids, not Ange) so he keeps a stack of Wet Wipes to hand – for Angie it’s all about the poop apparently.

”We have a very normal, very grounded home. And we’re friends, and we have a laugh with our kids,” Jolie tells Total Film. ”The great thing about having a bunch of kids is they just remind you that you’re the person who takes them to go poop!”

Given that their two youngest are four years old, I’m hoping this is not a potty training reference. Even if it was, you rarely say to your child: ‘Can I take you to go poop now please?’ but if the woman can’t operate an oven, can we really expect her to deal with the bowel movements of one of her own children? No, that’s why they have nannies.

Maybe it’s something to do with them existing on McDonalds Drive Thrus and hotel room service food and being blocked up (or the opposite), or perhaps it’s mommy dearest’s way of interacting with them?

Shiloh: "Mom. Can you stop dressing me up like a boy before these shopping trips and where's my nanny?" Ange: "Whatever your name is, I think you need to go poop now"

But forget that- how do they explain away mommy and daddy telling the kids’ usual army of carers to stay hidden from view while their parents dress them up in a variety of weird outfits and parade them in front of a group of large camera-waving photographers that they’ve called up and told to meet them whenever they have something to promote?

“We just explain to our kids that people like to take pictures of people who make movies. And that’s all it is,” says Ange. “It’s not anything special about mommy and daddy – we just happen to make movies.”

The Kids: "This sucks. Who ARE you two? Why are these men stalking us? We want to go home and play computers!" Brange through gritted teeth: "Shuttup, wave and smile"

But what about getting Angie’s PA to email stories about her and Brad to reporters who work on big American magazines?

“I don’t think [actors need a mystique surrounding their private life],” she says. “You know the actor. You’ve seen them at award shows, you’ve seen them at premieres dressed up. So whether they share or not, their cover is already blown.”

Ange: "Mm Brad girrus a kiss" Brad: "No, no, that's inappropriate behaviour in public" Ange: "Oh honey. Your cover's already blown. And that's not the only thing, is it, eh?"

So, just one thing remains. What do they tell the children about ‘Mr and Mrs Smith’ being the movie where mommy met daddy while they were both working on it and started sleeping with with each other whilst he was married to someone else?

“Yes, we do talk about [that film bringing us together],” the actress claims. “We look around at our kids. I’m not somebody that thinks about destiny and fate but I don’t walk away from it when something unfolds.”

Brange: "Adultery's fine if you then go on to have six kids out of wedlock. Ask any Jerry Springer Show guest"

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About Jen Paul (BOHOMOTH)

Jenny Paul is a veteran showbiz reporter who is based in Cannes in the south of France. She has worked on major breaking news stories over the past decade and more for entertainment news outlets worldwide including: Us Weekly (USA), People magazine (USA), E! News (USA) ABC News (USA), The New York Post (USA), The Sun (UK), The Mirror (UK), The Daily Mail, (UK), The Mail on Sunday (UK) and many others too numerous to mention. She firmly believes that love, truth, hugs, dogs and the power of laughter make the world a better place.
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  1. jojo says:

    Well it was time for some press they have been really quiet…and I’n always struck by how happy those kids seem….not !
    Wonder what Angie’s been up to ? I’m sure it will be clear when we see her again…

    • BOHOMOTH says:

      I’m convinced she’s getting heaps of plastic surgery, hence the extended stay behind closed doors. All I hear from a source in their camp is that she moans all the time and has totally changed, very unhappy. Brad stays in his room on his own a lot on his laptop…Then the kids are I quote: ‘totally screwed up’. A mate of mine’s got a hand-written thank you note from Maddox when they stayed at a villa she worked in a few years ago so that’s cute. But for one of the bodyguard’s birthday he drew him a pic of one of the guards shooting the other in the head so erm… Ange desp wants Madd to join ‘the military’, I’m all for guiding your kids, but pushing them in one direction is just odd.

      • jojo says:

        I agree….hope they pass on the wedding it will just make things easier when they each move on.
        I’m guessing Angie feels trapped in this world of her own making.

  2. Sassy says:

    Where the heck are they ?? No photo ops….they’ve been so quiet? trying to convince us that when they don’t have anything to promote they can hide?+

  3. jose montoya says:

    Pienso que en ocasiones se hacen este tipo de avisos cuando una persona a trabajado arduamente , peinso que en estos momentos es una persona de reconocimiento mundial y ha estado en causas en la ayuda social en diferentes territorios del mundo acaso sera este el interes !!! ? de tratar de enlodar la imagen
    no es bueno el sensacionalismo se debe pensar en sus hijos en su familia antes de atormentar y hostigar con estos avisos peinso respetuosamente!!

  4. Ant0scar says:

    Is there anything worse than parents who want to be “friends” with their kids? Hey – here’s a novel idea: be a parent! If you wanna get a friend, getta dog…

  5. Angelinaballerina says:

    Ive heard she likes the potty play
    I’m not surprised she is unhappy she rarely makes a movie these days and for someone who always seems so desperate on the red carpet to show how “sexy” she is and so in love with each other it must be really hard for her when she is always passed over for movies. He never seems very interested in her on the red carpet either.
    I don’t like her but I do think she has some serious mental issues which I don’t think there is a cure for
    I really feel for those kids having such awful parents money is clearly not everything

  6. Dee says:

    Boho said:
    Ange desp wants Madd to join ‘the military’, I’m all for guiding your kids, but pushing them in one direction is just odd.

    My reply:
    So which country does she want Maddox to join their military? She declared herself that those kids were citizens of the world, and not to one country..or continent.
    As for the rest, why is it that Jolie or Pitt think it is “cute” to talk about their children’s bowels/urinary tract? Seriously if it isn’t HER talking about poop or poopy diapers, he’s talking about how they pee on him. It’s disgusting and you wonder if both of them have some kind of kinky fetish.

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  8. GoddessM says:

    If the children don’t attend school, what the hell do they do all day? Do the children want to interact with their parents?

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