After I saw photographs of Paris Hilton and her wonky eye attached to what looked to be a baby bump at the TopShop opening party in LA on Wednesday night, I decided to do a bit of digging to find out whether the four horsemen of the apocalypse were indeed on their way to wreak doom on the world via her battered bits.
And, a rep for her 21-year-old Ibiza-born model boyfriend River Viiperi tells Bohomoth that we can all relax because the heirhead is currently not with child:
“Sorry to disappoint you but Paris & River are not expecting any babies at the moment.”
Phew! That’s a relief.
…OR is she trying to get press – hoping if she pushes her stomach out when she’s being photographed that one of the weeklies will run a story on her speculating that she’s pregnant, just like her former stylist Kim? (Hilton’s own rep didn’t confirm or deny when I asked).
Update: Paris has been seen with a swollen abdomen several times over the past few years -above, here, here, here and here for example. Whilst none of these times ever resulted in a pregnancy, it also transpires that it can be a common side-effect of congenital herpes from resulting abdominal pressure.
And, when the contents of Paris’s storage locker – which she forgot to pay rental for – were posted online in 2006 , the world learned that she had need for a Valtrex (herpes medication) prescription in 2003 (when her current f-ck buddy was the tender age of 12). Some Valtrex users report side effects including… a swollen stomach.
Hilarious and gross as that may be in equal parts, the jury finds the defendant guilty on this particular occasion of wearing a pregnancy prosthetic for garnering press attention.
*Bangs gavel* Case dismissed!