Listen up, serfs, forget buying one dress from Topshop to update your wardrobe for spring – head over to she who is better than you Gwyneth Paltrow’s website Goop, and buy half a million dollars worth of designer clothes from Net-A-Porter if you want to show your faces in polite company ever again.
Yes, the recession has gone over IT’S GWIIIN’s head and the 40-year-old self-proclaimed lifestyle guru is dishing out designer fashion suggestions for the rich, skinny and too stupid to sign up to Net-A-Porter’s daily email themselves in this week’s edition of Goop.
And if you bought the lot, it would set you back a total of $458,003.
But the great thing is that whilst Gwyneth claims the ‘Spring Edit’ is back ‘by popular request’, she gets a kickback from anything bought via Link Share and an affiliate deal with Net-A-Porter - which tracks sales via links like this one below for her ‘Everyday Punk’ look (top left).
So when you’re shelling out half a mill to look like Gwyn, you’re also keeping her in expensive facials and whacky nutritionists, because she stands to make roughly $33,333 per $500,000 of designer grab snapped up from her readers via a tasty little percentage of sales.
You see?- She’s not as green as she is cabbage-looking after all.
Something has to pay for that expensive divorce from Chris Martin.