If You Have Half A Million Dollars Spare, You Too Could Dress Like Gwyneth Paltrow (And Help Keep Her Rich)

Listen up, serfs, forget buying one dress from Topshop to update your wardrobe for spring – head over to she who is better than you Gwyneth Paltrow’s website Goop, and buy half a million dollars worth of designer clothes from Net-A-Porter if you want to show your faces in polite company ever again.

Yes, the recession has gone over IT’S GWIIIN’s head and the 40-year-old self-proclaimed lifestyle guru is dishing out designer fashion suggestions for the rich, skinny and too stupid to sign up to Net-A-Porter’s daily email themselves in this week’s edition of Goop.

And if you bought the lot, it would set you back a total of $458,003.

But the great thing is that whilst Gwyneth claims the ‘Spring Edit’ is back ‘by popular request’, she gets a kickback from anything bought via Link Share and an affiliate deal with Net-A-Porter - which tracks sales via links like this one below for her ‘Everyday Punk’ look (top left).


So when you’re shelling out half a mill to look like Gwyn, you’re also keeping her in expensive facials and whacky nutritionists, because she stands to make roughly $33,333 per $500,000 of designer grab snapped up from her readers via a tasty little percentage of sales.

You see?- She’s not as green as she is cabbage-looking after all.

Something has to pay for that expensive divorce from Chris Martin.



About Jen Paul (BOHOMOTH)

Jenny Paul is a veteran showbiz reporter who is based in Cannes in the south of France. She has worked on major breaking news stories over the past decade and more for entertainment news outlets worldwide including: Us Weekly (USA), People magazine (USA), E! News (USA) ABC News (USA), The New York Post (USA), The Sun (UK), The Mirror (UK), The Daily Mail, (UK), The Mail on Sunday (UK) and many others too numerous to mention. She firmly believes that love, truth, hugs, dogs and the power of laughter make the world a better place.
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12 Responses to If You Have Half A Million Dollars Spare, You Too Could Dress Like Gwyneth Paltrow (And Help Keep Her Rich)

  1. jojo says:

    She’s insufferable….no wonder Chris can’t stand her…
    Maybe if she didn’t model her picks herself…..but her ego wouldn’t allow that..

    As for the divorce …Chris will pay, it’s all about money earned during the marriage
    and well he wins…or loses depending on how you look at it..

    Boy Net-A-Porter sure has changed since Natalie Massenet sold it…it didn’t take long.

  2. Meaux says:

    Number 4 is ridiculous. What woman over 40 wears shorts? And her pose is gross.

  3. A Pedant says:

    It’s ‘serf’, not ‘cerf’, from the Latin ‘servus’ for ‘slave’.


  4. pollyf says:

    Who knew super expensive clothes could be so hideous???

    I’d pick up nicer stuff in Penneys for a tenner!

  5. Robyn says:

    I totally cannot stand her she is a self centered, pretentious snob. I avoid her and everything to do with her like the plague!!!!

  6. Pingback: StarDust: The ‘Macbeth’ Curse Strikes an Audience Member So James McAvoy Rescues Her + More

  7. Shiny says:

    These looks could have fallen off the pages of Teen Vogue. Grow up, Gwyn.

  8. Michelle says:

    she looks knock-kneed in that crop top pic, I can’t believe anyone thinks that’s a good look. ..

  9. Erricka says:

    Some of those are just horrible. She needs a reality check.

  10. Pingback: StarDust: The ‘Macbeth’ Curse Strikes an Audience Member So James McAvoy Rescues Her + More - 100.7 KOOL FM

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