Memo To Charlize Theron: Friends Don’t Let Friends Date Sean Penn

Charlize and Sean Dear Charlize Theron, I'm not sure exactly where your friends are at this moment so allow me to step in on their behalf:
Friends don't let friends date Sean Penn. 
I've noticed with concern that you spent New Year with him on the beach in Hawaii and hoped it was just you two talking about working on a future film project together as I am aware that you've been friends for years. But as you spent this past weekend with him at his house in Los Angeles and went on a cinema date on Sunday night, one might sensibly conclude that you have succumbed to his somewhat gnarled "charms" and are currently making the beast with two backs with the beast with one back and a nasty, and well-documented anger management problem. Sex is not love. Don't go there. You've presumably already got a few decent shags off him and the time to stop is now before your mating instinct kicks in and your brain releases attachment chemicals that will delude you into thinking he's dating material. He's not. US actor Penn May I remind you that when they were married, he whacked Madonna around the head with a baseball bat on one occasion, and on another tied her to a chair for an entire night whilst beating her to a bloody pulp. Upon divorcing him days after miraculously escaping this terrifying ordeal alive she said, "God bless him but keep him far away from me." This is MADONNA, a tough woman who's survived many testing situations over the years and has found the sense within to keep away from whatever wrinkly black magic the man keeps in his under-crackers.  I'm not afraid to tell you that she's likely made of stronger stuff than you. I strongly urge you to put your legs together and to use them to run away in the other direction and FAST. I know you're probably lonely and understand that being a single mother and finding someone to shag can be a tricky business - I've been there. Please buy a vibrator (or several - they won't end you up in an ER unless you're doing something very wrong), telephone your friends when you want a chat and a laugh and cease whatever it is you think you're doing with Sean immediately.  We don't need men like this in our already-difficult lives. Yours in truth, Bohomoth xo

About Jen Paul (BOHOMOTH)

Jenny Paul is a veteran showbiz reporter who is based in Cannes in the south of France. She has worked on major breaking news stories over the past decade and more for entertainment news outlets worldwide including: Us Weekly (USA), People magazine (USA), E! News (USA) ABC News (USA), The New York Post (USA), The Sun (UK), The Mirror (UK), The Daily Mail, (UK), The Mail on Sunday (UK) and many others too numerous to mention. She firmly believes that love, truth, hugs, dogs and the power of laughter make the world a better place.
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21 Responses to Memo To Charlize Theron: Friends Don’t Let Friends Date Sean Penn

  1. Miss Canadia says:

    From Wikipedia: “Her father was lawfully killed by her mother with a firearm on 21 June 1991. Theron’s father, an alcoholic, physically attacked her mother and threatened both her mother and her while drunk. The shooting was legally adjudged to have been self-defense and her mother faced no charges.”

    Sean is not the person she should be messing with. I’m not a psychologist by any means but I do wonder if there is some twisted reason why she is attracted to him…

    • Anonymous says:

      You don’t have to be a psychologist to draw that conclusion, you just have to know enough about psychology and be able to think rationally. You are spot on with your “theory,” I do not think that it’s a coincidence that Charlize is enamoured or drawn to Sean Penn. When people live it – like Charlize did with her father and mother – they recreate it in their lives over and over again. Rihanna is another textbook example of that.

      I just find it incredibly disappointing that a woman as clever and seemingly resourceful as Charlize, isn’t self-aware enough to see and understand that. Maybe she was never told about the statistics, about the great probability of someone choosing the same kind of people to be with as they grew up with, maybe she never got to work through her problems with a professional; but no matter the reason, she has a kid now, and it’s her responsibility to make sure that her son will never be exposed to the same kind of trauma and abuse as she was growing up.

      She is no longer only responsible for herself, but for another life as well – and that is not something you take for granted.

      • Jen Paul says:

        I totally agree with both of you. She just need to steer away from the bad boy and be single and stay strong if needs be. There’s nothing worse than getting knocked off track emotionally by the wrong guy.

      • Iluvfishsticks says:

        People do indeed recreate childhood chaos time and time again. Reason is is that they’re trying so hard to avoid it their mind thinks it’s what they’re actually going after and bam it turns up.

    • Siska says:

      I am agreeing with here

  2. Jocelyn says:

    A lot of people don’t like Sean, but I like him – and I like them together!

  3. I know this is a serious issue and all but that Tango tan was so hideous.

  4. Peggy Guggenheim says:

    He’s a sh1tty human being. Great that he cries for Haitians but does not extend that same humanity to women.

    • Peggy Guggenheim says:

      To clarify, I’m not diminishing his charity work abroad, but it’s sadly ironic and lacking in social awareness to treat the people around you so poorly. And yeah, good gawd that tan…it’s like Jean Harlow mated with a lobster.

      • Jen Paul says:

        Yeah I hear you Peggy. We’ll never know if the Haiti thing was all self-aggrandising anyway. Like he saw the charity thing worked for Angelina so hopped on a flight to Haiti.

  5. Sassy says:

    ahhh but wasnt’ madonna recently sniffing around him again? so it would seem she didnt learn much either. I’m sure Robin Wright would have some words of advice for Charlize……she seems haunted by her Penn time.

    • Jen Paul says:

      Yeah Madge was. But has since backed off. (Ha until she sees the pics of these 2 together). And yes! let’s ring up Robin and send her over for a bottle of wine and a yak with Charlize.

  6. Anonymous says:

    He’s awful, she deserves much better

  7. Iluvfishsticks says:

    He must know a thing or two in bed and I’d be tempted to find out. But no-one wants to wake up in the morning and find their lover’s smashed their bedroom up because the alarm went off and he didn’t like the way it bleeped. He’d be a nightmare.

  8. supercalafragalisticexpialadoshus says:

    Charlize has bigger issues than Sean (and yes she should get rid) – after all, she seems to fall asleep on sunbeds right before Oscar night. Not a good look hon.

  9. Missmalarky says:

    What is it with him and the ladies? He’s got a face like a wrinkled up ball sack.

  10. Siska says:

    He really need to wore more sun lotion..his skin didn’t look good.,but his acting still good..I watched him on Walter Mitty movie..very cartoonish ..

  11. Sassy says:

    well he is getting good movies and she isn’t so…..

    • Jen Paul says:

      Trueness. I can’t believe she’d actually consider a serious relationship with him. Maybe it is all a work “thing”. They seem happy enough to be papped if it was really them seeing each other they’d hide.

  12. presell page says:

    Woah this blog is fantastic i love studying your articles. Keep up the good work! You realize, lots of persons are looking round for this info, you can aid them greatly.

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