So who would I most like to change in 2014? This is too easy, and was confirmed to me during the week when I saw the personification of vomit-on-a-plate emerge from a plane in JFK looking like this.
Let’s parse this outfit, shall we?
Black and white Fendi fur coat; an Iron Maiden tee-shirt; a yellow Adidas beanie hat; a jegging; a skirt; a pair of 1990s farq-me boots; oh, I give up – this is too hard.
Honestly, it’s enough to make you want to set fire to your own eyeballs. Some charitable bloggers reckoned she looked like a garden bee; I say she looked like a toss-pot that no self-respecting toilet would flush.
My greatest fear this year is that her profile will rise further given the announcement that she’s been cast as Mia in Fifty Shades of Grey.
God help us all. Rarely has a ‘celebrity’ made me so angry. Ora – do me a favour: in 2014, please fire your ‘stylist’, buy a mirror and just stop generally mugging me off.
Happy 2014, y’all…
Gifs via http://theantipodeanhomo.tumblr.com