50 Shades of Rage: Rita Ora Got Dressed in the Dark Again

Ora

So who would I most like to change in 2014?  This is too easy, and was confirmed to me during the week when I saw the personification of vomit-on-a-plate emerge from a plane in JFK looking like this.

Let’s parse this outfit, shall we?

Black and white Fendi fur coat; an Iron Maiden tee-shirt; a yellow Adidas beanie hat; a jegging; a skirt; a pair of 1990s farq-me boots; oh, I give up – this is too hard.

Honestly, it’s enough to make you want to set fire to your own eyeballs.  Some charitable bloggers reckoned she looked like a garden bee; I say she looked like a toss-pot that no self-respecting toilet would flush.

My greatest fear this year is that her profile will rise further given the announcement that she’s been cast as Mia in Fifty Shades of Grey.

God help us all.  Rarely has a ‘celebrity’ made me so angry.  Ora – do me a favour: in 2014, please fire your ‘stylist’, buy a mirror and just stop generally mugging me off.

Happy 2014, y’all…

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Gifs via http://theantipodeanhomo.tumblr.com

About Ant0scar

Ant0scar first came to prominence as the inspiration behind Roland Mouret’s White Collection. Having subsequently turned his attention to writing, he has been twice nominated as best writer on Bohomoth and hopes to soon turn his love of short stories into a Day-Time Emmy Award, an Oscar and possibly a Grammy. When he’s not negotiating lower sauvignon blanc prices, Ant0scar enjoys socializing with Kate Moss, street-dancing and advanced dressage. He lives in exile with his husband on a barge with four imaginary Great Danes, a tarantula and a cardboard cut-out of Beyoncé. He must never be challenged...
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17 Responses to 50 Shades of Rage: Rita Ora Got Dressed in the Dark Again

  1. Jen Paul says:

    * gives Ant0scar a hug and slips him a restorative Rohypnol*.

    You may not like her work but it does make me chuckle the house down when she sets you off. xxx

    She looks like Benny From Crossroads and Marty Feldman’s love child here.

  2. MK says:

    Ugh, I cannot stand Rita Ora

  3. Robyn says:

    Brings to mind, “To many clowns, not enough circuses.”

  4. Jody says:

    What was she thinking, she looks ridiculous.

  5. Annemarie says:

    Proving once again money does not bring taste.

  6. ‘No self respecting toilet would flush’ – bow down bishes!

  7. My three year old only likes the coat but hates everything else.

  8. Pamela says:

    This is super tacky, hate it.

  9. DD says:

    I can’t with those eyebrows.

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