Mama Don’t Preach: Why’s Madonna Strict With Lourdes But Not With Rocco?

A round-up of some of the week’s stories that kept us awake at night, posted throughout the day… Retiring to the Ant0scar Towers’ library after Christmas lunch for a postprandial peruse of some great works of literature, I happened upon Chuck Darwin’s Origin of the Species.  Leafing through the tome, I was instantly struck by the great man’s philosophy that “…it is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives.  It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.”  Now, that got me thinking as to whether the same logic applies to celebrities; whether it does or doesn’t, I wish some of them would incorporate some much-needed changes into their New Year resolutions. Madonna Take Madonna.  Now, regular readers of this column will know I have a soft spot for the old bird.  I can dance the entire routine to ‘Holiday’, quote every line from Desperately Seeking Susan and karaoke my way (word perfect) through the extended mix of ‘Erotica’.  And yes, we all know Madonna is a total chameleon and the mother-of-reinvention, but I want her to start changing, or at least streamlining, her attitude to her kids. Colour me confused: do you remember a couple of years ago when Madge caught Lourdes puffing on a ciggie and her head nearly exploded? Lourdes smoking There followed a stream of interviews where she admitted to needing to be “…more of a disciplinarian”.  “Bravo”, we all said, and congratulated her on her mothering techniques. So, I don’t quite get the point of her Instagramming a picture of 13-year-old son Rocco Ritchie holding a gin bottle with his mates over Christmas. madge Apparently, it’s a joke. Well, I for one, don’t get it, particularly given that just a few days before, Rocco uploaded pictures of himself, entitled ‘Faded’ holding a champagne glass. Rocco champagne glass Now don’t get me wrong: I don’t for a minute think Madge condones under-age drinking and no, I don’t think Rocco was drunk. I just don’t get the hilarity. So Madge: do me a favour.  Stick to what you do best.  Leave the kids out of it and go back to being controversial all on your own. From what I hear on the wires from Switzerland, you’re already doing that with a certain 26-year old Mr. Timor Steffens.  Atta girl…! madonna Gifs via http://theantipodeanhomo.tumblr.com

About Ant0scar

Ant0scar first came to prominence as the inspiration behind Roland Mouret’s White Collection. Having subsequently turned his attention to writing, he has been twice nominated as best writer on Bohomoth and hopes to soon turn his love of short stories into a Day-Time Emmy Award, an Oscar and possibly a Grammy. When he’s not negotiating lower sauvignon blanc prices, Ant0scar enjoys socializing with Kate Moss, street-dancing and advanced dressage. He lives in exile with his husband on a barge with four imaginary Great Danes, a tarantula and a cardboard cut-out of Beyoncé. He must never be challenged...
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23 Responses to Mama Don’t Preach: Why’s Madonna Strict With Lourdes But Not With Rocco?

  1. Jen Paul says:

    HAHAHAH. I’m buying 4 imaginary great danes as we speak!

  2. Jen Paul says:

    I’d love to set a shrink loose on why Madge lets Rocco do what he wants and not Lourdes. But I reckon b/ c he hung out with Baby Brahim loads Madonna reckons he’s the same age as him so twenty something and she forgets he’s just 13. Rocco’s friends with her new BF too. Kaballah shite says you’re only as old as your soul (hers is like 29 or something. No, seriously, she says that). So I bet she says Rocco’s an old soul and blah blah blah.

    • Ant0scar says:

      Nail. Hammer. Head. Wise words as always…

    • Anonymous says:

      My mom was the same…my brother could do whatever he wanted I was bound by rules and more rules..

      • Flffgrrrlr says:

        I think it’s the boy / girl thing. My brother was older but he always got to do more stuff than me at the same age. I don’t think parents necessarily realise the completely different way they treat each of their children. Maybe she’s just loosening up after having already done it all with Lola though.

  3. Jodie says:

    I loved that Holiday clip. That little hip thrust was so cool. I did love Borderline more. X

  4. twiggy twiggy says:

    It’s only funny to Madonna, who does only one thing worse than act: tell a joke.

  5. Jen Paul says:

    I’ve just noticed Rocco’s mate’s faux sheep shagging. Shouldn’t we tell Madge that’s not cool either?

  6. CoreyCoca-Cola says:

    ” I can dance the entire routine to ‘Holiday’, quote every line from Desperately Seeking Susan and karaoke my way (word perfect) through the extended mix of ‘Erotica’. ” This ONLY reads like the boasting bogan who knows it cool to cash in on the Madonna’s In/Gaga’s Over media.
    ” I can dance the entire routine to ‘Holiday’, ”
    -i’d have to see this to believe this ego-riddled claim.
    “quote every line from Desperately Seeking Susan ”
    -now that’s just sad or/and alternatively, ‘why?’
    “…karaoke my way (word perfect) through the extended mix of ‘Erotica’. ”
    erm, not a hard song to ‘sing’, make that ‘speak’,repetitive lyrics…
    = not a hardcore fan of Madonna …..sorry.

  7. Imagine Beyonce’s disappointment at a late night karaoke club to find you reciting Erotia whilst air-spanking me and Jen- instead of the two of you badly octave jumping to ‘If I were a boy’ while I catch forty sake-induced winks.

  8. xyz says:

    TOTALLY FAILED AT BEING A MOTHER, NUFF SAID

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