As John Mayer, Taylor Lautner, Cory Montieth, and Conor Kennedy prepare to release their co-written song entitled: ‘It’s not me- it’s you and it always was’ about Taylor Swift, the country slapper was busy slipping her stalking GPS chip into One Direction’s Harry Styles’ pocket in New York over the weekend.
The 22-year-old heartbreak Princess took British boy-bander and supposed cougar boffer Harry Styles to New York’s Central Park zoo to show him a load of incarcerated animals as a salutary warning that he too will end up in her basement in a cage with a pool ball duck-taped across his mouth if he doesn’t text her back a sufficient amount of times in one day or worse- dares to dump her.
But so as not to arise too much suspicion she swiped a random passerby’s baby so she could imagine them this time next year when they’ve got married and had a child together.
As you can see- Harry’s side-eyeing that child as he considers the prospect of a life as Mr. Swift-Styles and at one stage actually clutches his chest at the onset of a panic attack as it dawns on him what he’s got himself into.
Harry, who is only 18, probably just wanted a bit of American fanny as he’d heard from The Wanted that they give better head than Brits and instead when he told Taylor he wanted to play mummies and daddies for the day this is what he got.
As they wander off, Harry’s wishing he’d just stayed in his hotel room alone and had a Tommy Tank while Taylor’s planning their wedding in her head and writing their vows and even picking out each of her bridesmaids.
Yes, sea-lion, that’s my reaction too.