So… The main question I’m being asked today is… Did Brad and Angelina get married in Turks and Caicos over New Year?
The UK’s Telegraph basically put two and two together and came up with five (‘twos’ in this case being ‘Brangelina’ and ‘Brad’s family’ and the ‘five’ being a Jolie-Pitt wedding) yesterday and now other outlets seem to be picking it up and as usual it’s gathered steam and now seems to be all over the internet.
What the Telegraph basically did was skim the New York Post’s report about Brange having 22 people with them in Turks and Caicos, which doesn’t once mention them being wedding guests and they’ve turned it into this opening paragraph.
Word reaches us that Hollywood’s hottest couple, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, secretly tied the knot on Christmas Day in the Caribbean’s Turks and Caicos Islands.
I don’t remember the Telegraph for being known for anything other than being dubbed The Torygraph for its’ political leanings, but this is a prime example of why they shouldn’t try to report on Hollywood happenings.
It’s the equivalent of my nan ringing up with the showbiz scoop of the century. ‘Not gonna happen (well both of mine are dead anyway but you know what I mean).
When Brad and Angelina really do marry we’ll know. His manager Cynthia Pett-Dante will send out a confirmation email after selected American weekly magazines get offered the chance to bid on the official photos amidst much bluster from Brange about donating the proceeds from the sale to charity.
Of course, this will be done at the most beneficial to them from a PR point-of-view for the brand time, rather than because the kids joined hands and started singing: ‘Mommy and Daddy sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G’ and they, spontaneous types that they are, just decided to marry on the spot.
Does anyone really think they’d wed in secret and not grab the chance to remind the world what a happy, loving family they are and that Brad didn’t cheat on Jen with Ange because the latter was willing to do an&l and tie him up.
On no, he cheated on his then-wife for true love, they were each others’ soul-mates and now they’ve created a beautiful family of children that just want mummy and daddy to be married so they, devoted parents that they are, did it and gave money from the pictures to the poor because that’s how they roll.
Money can’t buy PR that good. Look at all the rabid fans – who still roam the internets defending them- that they created from the Shiloh Jolie-Pitt baby photos cover of People. Up rose a whole army of women who, still bitter that they got passed over by the hot guys at college for the cheerleaders, all felt that if weirdo outsider Angelina with all her history of general batsh-t craziness could steal Brad Pitt from America’s Sweetheart then theoretically so had they.
What really happened in Turks and Caicos was that Brangelina and their children went there for a Christmas break and were joined by the Pitt family- Bill and Jane, then Brad’s brother Doug and sister Julie – their other halves and their children.
That all adds up to twenty-two people.
What’s hilarious is that the initial person that saw them all together last week, assumed that rather than spend time with relatives at Christmas, that Brad and Angelina had twelve nannies in tow.
So instead of being seen as gracious humanitarians or wonderfully hands-on parents, Joe Public in the street sees Brad and Angelina as a couple of rich lazy people who trail around the globe from one five-star expensive rental home to the next with six kids and two nannies per child.
On a positive note, it looks like Brad stumped up for all those family members to enjoy a luxurious Christmas break somewhere beautiful and for their own six children to play with a group of cousins near their own age for once.
And for that, I can’t fault him.