WHEN NICK CANNON TOLD MARIAH CAREY TO GIVE THEIR DOG A BATH, THIS ISN’T WHAT HE HAD IN MIND…

Why oh why hasn’t somebody given Mariah Carey a reality show yet? – Forget the Kartrashian Klan- this is my medicine.

The 42-year-old singer got ready for a Valentine date in Central park with hubby Nick Cannon by being lowered by a team of assistants into a bath full of bubbles (of both the champagne and the bubble bath kinds) – along with her Jack Russell dog, ‘Jill E Beans’ (genius name).

She tweeted: ‘Aaaah! Jill E Beans leaps to the tub in hopes of a splash champagne – whhhhy?!’

Now I don’t feel so guilty for chucking one of my mud-covered dogs in the pool when Shiny and Mr Shiny were enjoying a romantic evening swim together last summer – causing them to evacuate the suddenly brown water pretty fast. (My bad- I was sloshed on rosé and didn’t notice how muddy the pooch was before I decided it wanted to go swimming too).

Anyway, the dog got out – leaving Mariah to pose up for the camera alone. – LOVE the monogrammed towels and the sofa in the background.

It’s the same bathroom in the Tribeca penthouse that featured on her episode of MTV Cribs where she took a bath (in a bodysuit, she says) and ran on her treadmill in high heels – which was the best Cribs ever.

So after presenting her with a million or so helium-filled I love You and butterfly balloons, Nick (who’s certainly game for a laugh) then took Mariah for a ride in a horse-drawn carriage around Central Park.

And then it was time for Nick to pop Mariah’s song ‘Hero’ on the surround sound system in the bedroom before having a Valentine’s Day shag to the sound of his wife’s voice - per their usual mating ritual tradition - on the rose petal-covered sheets.

Aww. Doesn’t your heart feel that bit more filled with joy to learn that this is how Mr and Mrs Carey spent their day?