PRINCE HARRY ON THE PISTE WITH OLD FLAME CRESSIDA BONAS

Well Prince Harry hasn’t taken long to get the royal nuts cracked since returning from bravely playing Playstation for months at Camp Bastion in Afghanistan.

The 28-year-old army Captain is seen here with Cressida Bonas on the slopes of Verbier, Switzerland, locked in a very precarious-on-skis embrace yesterday.

Close: The very public display of affection, in front of dozens of fellow skiers, came only a few hours after even more intimate revelries at a restaurant in the town

The couple (who started dating on and off last May) are in the swish resort to celebrate Harry’s Uncle Prince Andrew’s 53rd birthday on Tuesday – along with the Duchess of Pork (Sarah ‘Fergie’ Ferguson), Princess Eugenie and a smattering of minor royals that no-one cares about.

Pole to pole: Harry shows touching concern for his girlfriend on their romantic break

The prince has spent the last few days ensuring that Stowe-educated Bonas, 24, has a firm grip on his pole and the pair have been seen off the piste guzzling £17-a-go champagne cocktails while Harry bounces Cressida on his knee – eating, drinking and generally making merry.

I presume that with her sixties model mother Lady Mary Curzon’s looks and her Old Harrovian businessman father Jeffrey Bonas’ pedigree, that Cressida has been given the official stamp of approval from the House of Windsor as a potential mate to water down Harry’s father Charles’ distinct aroma de inbred and oh-so-difficult to shift genetics.

I bet the Duchess of Cambridge is planning her post-baby slim-down for that inevitable day when the pair are photographed together as royal WAGS in an official capacity as we speak.

“So when Harry told me he wanted a ‘jolly good tea-bagging‘ after skiing, I thought he was talking Earl Grey. One’s got an arse like a wind-sock after this break…”