Kim Kardashian and Kanye West haven’t decided to hilariously call their baby ‘North’ after all.
The 32-year-old unreality star does however admit that there’s a 50-50 chance of their baby being Khristened with a name beginning with the letter ‘K’.
“I think it would be really cute because Kanye and I are both K’s, but half the names on our list aren’t K’s,” she tells Extra. “We still have time, [so we'll do] whatever feels right.”
She adds that her beard and stylist, 35, “wants something that’s unique.”
Hilariously, Kartrashian goes on to claim that she currently weighs 140lbs – that’s just ten stone, backing up my theory that her comically huge baby bump is, in fact, prosthetic: “There are maybe two or three covers just this week that say I am 200 pounds. I’m like, ‘You are 60 pounds off here!’” she says.
Is she just talking about her arse or all of her? – because there’s no way I believe that, not for a second. It’s not April 1st already, is it?
“It wouldn’t even bother me if I gained all the weight,” she adds. “And I have the biggest sweet tooth and I love junk food. Being pregnant I don’t like any of it.”
The possible pregnancy faker then adds that her cravings are carrots and celery with ranch dressing not gizz as we all assumed: “I’m waiting for the moments when someone’s like, ‘Let’s go to McDonald’s and Taco Bell!’” she slobbered. “That’s not happening for me and I’m kind of sad about it.”
Then comes the biggest red flag that Kum’s not really pregnant – she says: ”I haven’t been tired at all.”
Now I know she’s using a surrogate as every single pregnant woman on earth is exhausted most of the way through pregnancy.
You get so tired that you take one of those blow up pillows you use on aeroplanes into the shower and sucker it to the wall, just in case you need a nap mid-shampooing your hair and readjusting your piles.
And a giant-sized Mars bar, in case hunger strikes.