I don’t want to be a bitch (ha, who am I kidding?) but Elton John has really annoyed me today.
The 66-year-old singer said at the GQ Men of The Year Awards in London last night that having children with partner David Furnish, 50, might have concerned people “given” his age but added “to hell with it” adding as justification that it’s “brought me so much happiness.”
TV presenter Dermot O’Leary asked the ageing dad-of-two: ‘You said, “I don’t want to be 70 years old with a teenage child” – what do you say now?’
And Elton fired back: ‘Well, I won’t be 70 years old with a teenager – I will be 80. By the time they are 15, I will be on a Stannah stairlift.
‘I wish I had made that decision to be a father 20 years earlier because I am no spring chicken.
‘I could understand when people were concerned about our age,
‘But to hell with it. We can show these children so much love, and in two-and-a-half years, they have brought me so much happiness.’
Having children isn’t about what they bring you to the table it’s about what you bring them. Having gone through the pain of my own dad dying when I was in my twenties, I can tell you hand on heart that no amount of money or memories brings them back or makes up for the heartache of losing them. No matter what those old goats think (like, ‘oh, I left you a bit of money, bitch, stop whinging that I’m dead, mm, kay?’) it hurts and takes years, if ever to get over these selfish old twats checking out without giving you a second thought other than financially.
I’m also a parent of one 18-year-old teenage man-child and now it’s very much a case of me telling him everything I know about the University of life to help equip him with the emotional and physical tools he needs to successfully go out into the world – free of his mother but knowing I’m waiting in the wings as a safety net if and when he needs me. I would say he actually needs me more now than he did when he was a baby… (You can hire a nurse to do the night feeds and change nappies but do you really want to entrust them to give life advice?).
Kids aren’t pets or must-have designer handbags and I think Elton’s choice to have them so late in life is disgustingly selfish.
Having children isn’t a “to do” thing on our bucket lists and it’s extremely easy to screw these fragile little people up. Does he not realise that going to a posh private school and being “Elton’s” kid is going to open his kids up to teasing – thanks to the ridiculous outfits he used to wear during his drug years?
This is not at all a rant about him being a gay father, because gay parents often make better parents than straight ones do. My darling gay BFF gives my son the best advice (and me) in the world. It’s not that, it’s the age thing, pure and simple. There’s a reason that nature stops women giving birth after the age of 45 and it’s because that elderly parents do not a happy kid make…
I’m sorry, Elton, but you should have just got a couple of teacup chihuahuas if you wanted little characters to bring you joy rather than paying £37 grand to some chick to bear your children for you.
And the reason that nobody says this in print is that they’re too scared of the legal repercussions.
End of story.