It’s been business as usual for Orlando Bloom and Orlando Bloom following their not-so shock split announcement on Friday morning.
The couple of six years spent three consecutive days together with their two-year-old son Flynn at the family home in Manhattan with touchy feely walks and kisses goodbye at the door at the end of the day.
I bet their nanny rued them giving their toddler that sugary lolly once they’d done the happy clappy photo op, handed him over and cracked open the vino behind closed doors.
And, speaking for the first time following the official separation announcement, the Romeo and Juliet actor, 36, told TMZ that he and the Australian model, 30, are family.
“We’re not friends, we’re family,” he said.
“Life is a mystery, it doesn’t always work out the way you want it,” he added.
I love this. It’s the ideal way that any couple – whether famous or not should go about a break up – especially when there’s kids involved.
There’s nothing more tawdry than a post-break up slanging match played out by warring exes in the papers and, it’s incredibly confusing for the kids if everything changes all of a sudden.
There’s a lot of loud rumours about Orly and his current co-star Condola Rashad, 26, being one of the many extra-marital flings and it becoming serious is touted as the reason for the split becoming official rather than a private matter that’s been in place for over a year now.
I’m sure we’ll be hearing more this Wednesday when the American tabloids drop – hence the very firmly united front they’ve put on over the weekend. There’s a lot of legal action being threatened over the baby butthead and Miranda rumours, so let’s wait and see what happens.
In the meantime, one of my friends sh@gged Orlando back in the day – when he was an unknown drama college student in London and she a fabulous flibbertigibbet about town.
She’s quite shame-faced about it now as she’s respectably married with kids and pretends to her soo-pah posh husband that she’s only slept with, like, one other person ever, but anyway she tells me on the QT that Orly’s “in no way gay.”
And, she added that, “He was a surprisingly great shag.”
She says they met at a mutual friend’s housewarming party “years ago” and had a one-night stand following them “racing” into one of the upstairs bedrooms after “drunken flirting” that “soon” ended up becoming more.
“It was just one of those drunken things but all things considered, he was great,” she remembers. “He was into yoga and was doing all this tantric-style gazing into my eyes and taking it slowly with lots of heavy-breathing and moaning. Really I was a bit tired and like ‘get on with it!’ but he wasn’t bad at all, ‘not into anything kinky – it was just a straight end-of-the-night style standard shag.”
As for how he was hung: “Fair to middling, but, it definitely did the job.”
They both stayed overnight in the same bed and had what I call a “re-match” in the morning, but never saw each other again (she left London for an internship in New York shortly afterwards) until, of course, he popped up on the big screen at the cinema when she’d gone to watch Lord of The Rings having (almost) forgotten about him.
How I wish I’d seen her face when she realised she’d shagged Legolas.