Never cross Victoria Beckham.
When the two celebrities that offend Victoria’s fashion sensibilities – Abbey Clancy WAG, fake tan and boobs (basically too close to the bone) and JLo dares to be curvy and smile – wore the tangerine parachute strap halter from Vicky’s Spring 2012 collection, I thought Posh would pull the dress off the racks and stage a tango frock bonfire.
I was wrong. Victoria ain’t going to let a tanorexic glamour model and A-list mega star rain on her parade. Posh wore the dress to Simon Fuller’s birthday bash at Roland Mouret in London last night (check all your sketches are still in their folders Team Mouret). She’s supposed to be on holiday but is working her hole off selling dresses at Wimbledon and settling scores with uppity cows with now class who bought her poor unfortunate dress RETAIL.
Of the three Victoria of course had the best fit – like a glove (albeit a glove on a skeleton) – but she had the worst shoe choice. JLo wins best ass (as always) and Abbey wins ‘I wore it first B*TCHES’.
Side note: How much money is Vicky saving my wearing her own collection? I’ll bet Jacobs, Mouret, Lanvin, Chanel & Co. don’t know what hit them. She was putting their kids through college before she started ‘designing’.
All three went for a nude shoe. Abbey went for an intricate strappy sandal in Dubai, Jennifer killed it in a Lanvin two-strap on American Idol and Victoria did her usual with nude platform peep-toes by Guiseppe Zanotti.
It’s like looking down the barrel of the bad-taste gun.
Homework: Discuss the bruising amongst yourselves, while teacher gets a coffee.