Never cross Victoria Beckham.
When the two celebrities that offend Victoria’s fashion sensibilities – Abbey Clancy WAG, fake tan and boobs (basically too close to the bone) and JLo dares to be curvy and smile – wore the tangerine parachute strap halter from Vicky’s Spring 2012 collection, I thought Posh would pull the dress off the racks and stage a tango frock bonfire.
I was wrong. Victoria ain’t going to let a tanorexic glamour model and A-list mega star rain on her parade. Posh wore the dress to Simon Fuller’s birthday bash at Roland Mouret in London last night (check all your sketches are still in their folders Team Mouret). She’s supposed to be on holiday but is working her hole off selling dresses at Wimbledon and settling scores with uppity cows with now class who bought her poor unfortunate dress RETAIL.
Of the three Victoria of course had the best fit – like a glove (albeit a glove on a skeleton) – but she had the worst shoe choice. JLo wins best ass (as always) and Abbey wins ‘I wore it first B*TCHES’.
Side note: How much money is Vicky saving my wearing her own collection? I’ll bet Jacobs, Mouret, Lanvin, Chanel & Co. don’t know what hit them. She was putting their kids through college before she started ‘designing’.
All three went for a nude shoe. Abbey went for an intricate strappy sandal in Dubai, Jennifer killed it in a Lanvin two-strap on American Idol and Victoria did her usual with nude platform peep-toes by Guiseppe Zanotti.
It’s like looking down the barrel of the bad-taste gun.
Homework: Discuss the bruising amongst yourselves, while teacher gets a coffee.
LOL, Love your commentary, but I disagree, I hate J.Lo’s shoe choice, when a dress is of that length, shoes with straps don’t work, especially one as thick. I’m not fawning over Victoria’s shoe choice either but I’m so glad she not wearing those thigh high boots she’s so fond of. And the other girl…yeah.
Oh god I never thought I’d type these words, but … Posh looks best, easily. It’s a skinny maid’s dress and La Lopez is too much of a real woman for it; Clancy DOCWRA is just meh in it and doesn’t even manage to fill it properly, which is a surprise given her ‘assets’. Love the colour.
I’ll f*ck with Victoria Beckham anyday.What’s she going to do? Pout at me? Flounce off? So. Her dress is repulsive. The polarity created by the functional straps – which resemble 1970′s car seat belts rather than elegant Chalyan style references to sleek functional utliity clothing – and the – either law suit worthy or authored secretly by Mouret Galaxy silhouette are ridiculous, clumsy and gauche and the five minute crush that patronising fashion editors had with the VB line is surely over. The only people who could surely aspire to Beckham’s line / look are the more expensive sex workers. The line has ”narratives” – classy sex worker and winsome corporate trophy wife with a bit of a thing about Audrey Hepburn. Clancy is more likeable and honest. She’s just a working class girl who wants to look good. Beckham is now describing herself on wiki as ”an Engish fashion designer”. So. Pack in those expensive courses being trained and mentored by seasoned professionals at St Martin’s kids. Or rather, don’t, because Beckham might hire you to design her shiz.
*standing ovation*
Couldn’t agree more. Clancy IS Beckham. VB’s lines lack any real inspiration besides ‘that’s cute’, ‘that’s cool’, ‘that’ll sell’. The only thing I would wear from her production line are sunglasses and belts. Shoes are hiddy, bags are cute but rip-off.
Yowsers. But, good points made well. I don’t know much about fashion except whether I like something or not, is it well made. I don’t mind Posh’s stuff to look at, I’m not her target market nor am I interested in dressing ‘glamourously’ particularly.
Her stuff is all just quite bland and boring. Do women dress like this in ordinary life? Perhaps I move in very unsophisticated circles (well, yes definitely) but I don’t see many (any).
Yeah I know I probably need to *detach* from Posh like a scientologist from a concerned parent but she is actually becoming a highly offensive figure to me aside from the weak lines. The pharmacies in Greece can’t buy drugs for kids with cancer, people are without food there, my point being Victoria Antoinette should be widely ridiculed in the Western media for what seems to me an increasingly obscene flaunting of her wealth and her endless parading of her luxury goods. I love fashion but y’know; this idiot has maybe 100k worth of Birkins alone. Let’s not look up to her. Restraint is the correct response to the times we’re living in.
You got it.
I doubt she has a clue about what is happening in Greece or anywhere else in the world for that matter. Yes, I agree, her conspicuous wealth and excess is hideous but she is by no means alone in this, look at the horrendously overpaid Neanderthals that play in the Premier League or the Oligarchs in Chelsea. It’s always been like this.
And of course it is not right. But, I think it is a sick part of human nature which allows people to starve while other’s buy multiple Birkin’s. I mean what makes us any better as we walk past the homeless guy on our way into a restaurant for a nice dinner? It’s all relative.
I know she’s just a single highly visible embodiment of the systemic inequalities perpetrated by the capitalist superstructure luxie, and her auctioning off her bags for Greek food parcel charities wouldn’t put the merest dent in that superstructure but she is totemic of Western and increasingly global culture’s fetishisation of obscene personal wealth and materialism. It ain’t 1985. Let’s critisize her simply cos we should.
I know, she’s a self-obsessed tosser who can’t see beyond the end of her own nose. I don’t understand how she can live in such a materialistic and shallow manner. But, I don’t understand why people vote Conservative either. It seems to be related to selfishness and an ‘I’m alright, Jack’ mentality.
I think she has been taught by the culture that spawned her that happiness is a closet full of Hermès. It isn’t and that must have baffled her and probably the unrestrained consumption is evidence of the law of diminishing returns. What kind of thrill do you get exactly from your ninth Birkin? A very small hollow rather fleeting one I expect. Anyway!! In other news let’s laugh at Terry’s “i incredulously enquired of Ferdinand ‘how dare you ask me if I just called you a black c*nt?’ ” defense.
Aww. Poor Tewwy.. He’s ‘hurt’ by the accusations he’s racist. If the cap fucking fit’s and all that.
However, did you read the article in The Guardian with the transcripts from court yesterday? Anton Ferdinand sounds like an absolutely charming fellow too, the things he said to Terry during the altercation were pretty repulsive.
I *take* the Telegraph personally. None of that bleeding heart Tuscany farmhouse holiday home grow your own saffron rubbish chez Fierce.
yes! Ferdinand is undoubtedly a c*nt but Tewwy’s faux pas was bringing race into it
Yes, it is very middle-class aspirational but I enjoy a lot of the articles and their news stuff tends not to be sensationalist like some. I just read it online.
Aw luxie! Of course I read the bloomin Guardian! I used to work for the Labour Party for gawd’s sake! But it f*cks me off quite a bit xx
Don’t hate on me but I like the dress. I think the straps do it for me, or maybe it’s because I can see a gay man’s version of a fitted tshirt with the straps over the shoulders like a tank top. If I had the time to sew right now I’d be down to the fabric shop and putting it all together.
I like the color choices as well, it would be a very easy dress to make, and it looks easy to mass produce. She’s trying to make her mark but I don’t know if it will fly, I also think she might just get bored with it all after a while and drop the whole idea of being a ‘designer’.
Why don’t gay men wear halter tops? They TOTALLY should. They mostly have the pecs and the shoulders to carry it off.
oh now really jameson how dare you have a mind of your own? *pushes jameson out of the sandpit and steals his Skips and his Ribena*
No! Not my Ribena!!
oh no. No halter tops for men. lol
I don’t care how big their tits are, noooo. You won’t see this Mary Cherry in a halter top. lol
I was thinking a tank top version but with those straps in place of the usual fabric.
racer back tanks are basically halters – surely we can come up with high front and back man-halters
Werk it baby. Horrifying visual of this imaginary top on one of those men you see on the beach Big J. Very unpleasant.
Perhaps. lol
I think Victoria has a mosquito bite on her front ankle. She probably scratched it too much. It doesn’t look like a bruise to me.
Ummm. Those shoes she wears are…horrid. I hate platforms. When are they just going to commit fashion suicide and never return?
Have you seen her feet without shoes on?????
Hobbit – be frightened.